In the writing world, the phrase ‘too stupid to live’ refers to characters like the heroine who hears a noise in the dank, dark basement of the creepy old house and goes, by herself, down to the basement to investigate.  Oh, and she’s ignoring the fact that three of her friends one-by-one have already been murdered in the very same basement.  Basically, in the world of writers, if your heroine is that dumb, then she is: Too Stupid to Live.

But today, I’m talking about someone else who could fall into that category.  Put yourself in this guy’s shoes…

You’re a hardened gangster.  If you’re a typical thug, you think nothing of stealing a car, selling drugs, or even…murder.  Yep, you kill a guy – and you get away with it.

You continue on with your gangsta’ life.  Maybe you snatch the purse of an old lady, tag your gang’s name on a wall, or jump a ten year old into the ‘family’.  Then one day you’re out doing nothing.  Just driving along, minding your own business when the cops pull you over for a traffic violation.  They wind up taking you to jail.  You’re fingerprinted and booked.   During the booking process, the cops take quite a few photos of your many gang tattoos.  Then you’re released and, eventually, the whole traffic violation thing is resolved.

Sometime later, you’re arrested again.  Due to your chosen lifestyle, it’s not uncommon for you to be in jail a lot.  They put some other poor slob in your cell with you.  After a while, the new guy starts talking to you.  Pretty soon you’re bragging about the detailed tattooed drawing you have on your chest.  You tell your cellmate the depiction inked into your skin is the scene of a murder you committed.

Instead of being impressed, your cellmate, unbeknownst to you, is recording your whole conversation.  You see, the guy in your cell is actually an undercover cop.   By the time you figure out that you’ve been ‘played’, it’s too late.

The cops never thought they’d solve the case of the rival gang member you’d murdered.  You learn that a cop who’d worked in the area where the murder took place saw your ‘crime scene photo’ in your booking photographs and recognized the location.  The smart cop also knew the gangs in the area.  He was able to put together your gang name, the nickname for the rival gang, along with your tattoo and make a case of murder against you – and you were convicted.

In these circumstances, if you were this gangster, I guess it goes without saying that you’d be too stupid to live.  And the story is TRUE.   But don’t worry, this is California.  We have a death penalty, but we’ve only used it thirteen times since 1976.  There are about 678 people on death row ahead of you.  You might be too stupid to live, but I don’t think you’ve got anything to fear.

(In the photo, I’ve removed the visible gang name from the tattoo)

Until next time…

KMA 367