Category Archives: General

Your Resolution Progress – Reality Check

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We’ll we’re about to finish up January – the first month of 2013. Seems like yesterday I was contemplating my resolutions for the New Year. Did you make any resolutions? Have you stuck with them?

 I didn’t write any down, but they tend to be the same from year to year. Usually my list looks something like this: 

  1. Eat better
  2. Lose weight
  3. Exercise more
  4. Write more
  5. Spend more time with the family
  6. Blog
  7. Etc.
  8. Etc.

I suspect the top three things on my list mirror many other people’s pledges. But the fact is, in the past, I’ve usually fallen off the resolution bandwagon by this time each year.

However, this time was a little different. I’d been doing pretty well with my resolutions until I got the flu about ten days ago. I’m recovering and anticipate getting back to my resolutions this week. I hope I can regain my momentum.

But what about you? How are you doing with keeping your New Year’s resolutions?

Did you promise yourself you’d eat better and exercise more?

Are you finding excuses to not get off your fanny and work out? Let me introduce you to a group of people who exercise six days a week, every week, every year. In fact, they are so excited about getting their workout in, most of these people show about a half-hour prior to the class so they can sit in their favorite chairs. 

Who are these over-anxious exercisers? Residents of Vintage Simi Hills Assisted Living. Many of the class participants come to the class utilizing their walkers, wheelchairs or electric scooters. For some of them, it’s quite an effort just to transfer from their mobility aid into their exercise chair.

The group is generally about twenty to twenty-five people on any given day. Sometimes they miss class because they have doctor’s appointments, or maybe have family visiting.

There are two centenarians in the group. (A centenarian is someone who is 100 years old.) There are at least a half-dozen folks in their nineties. In fact, I’d be surprised to find anyone in the group who isn’t over seventy years old. Their age doesn’t matter, because what they bring to the class is enthusiasm.

The classes are conducted while sitting and the number one rule of the class is that no one does more than they feel they can – no one is to get hurt. We start out with deep breathing and the some stretching. Then each participant picks an exercise they like to do and we all do that exercise.

Elvera likes shoulder shrugs, Esther likes to stretch her neck, Shirley likes to do arm circles. Lest you think the class is filled only with women, Chris likes to do boxing moves and Andy favors any exercise that hasn’t already been done. Andy’s wife Belva likes us to rotate our ankles and if Belva doesn’t choose that exercise, Judith does.

I’m kept on my toes by Mim who sets me straight if I forget what count I’m on. Angie, likes to work her arms, while Rosemary has us swim using four different kinds of strokes. Helen gets her inner firefighter on by having us climb the ladder, and my own Mom wants us to get down doing the funky chicken.

Mary Jane a former pro ice skater leads us on a bike ride, and Enoy gets us ready for the NBA by practicing our dribbling skills. Renee is our ambivalent exerciser and usually lets me choose an exercise for her. Never ambivalent and always ready to go is Sadie.

One of our main cheerleaders during the class is Betty who encourages us to, “Use it or you’ll lose it.” Ellie fights arthritis by having us look over our shoulders – first one side then the other. Vi has us stretch our backs and we should all be as limber as she is!

Ruth likes to do what we call scissor arms crossing our arms in front of our bodies much in the fashion of scissors. Amelia encourages us to take deep breaths and fill our lungs with air. Doris exercises from her motorized wheel chair. Elizabeth exercises wearing a protective boot on her ankle. Ennes with her lovely accent keeps things lively.

Bonnie recently joined our group and goes with the flow. Another new addition is Helen who has visited us several times. Leia has sat in with a couple of times as well. At the end of each class the group shoots balls into a couple of baskets…Watch out Lakers – this team is good!

I’ve volunteered to lead their classes two days a week and those classes are definite highlights in my week. On the other days of the week, this group works out with light dumbbells and exercise bands with Eileen, practices Yoga mid-week, and exercises with Flo and Vanna on the other days.

All these seniors exercise with different levels of mobility and physical and mental capabilities. If they can exercise six days a week for 30-45 minutes…why can’t you?

Until next time,

KMA367

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do You Come Here Often?

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Do you go to the movies by yourself?

What about a restaurant?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How about a bar?  

Do you do one of those activities by yourself, but not the others? Which one is it, and why are you okay with doing that one endeavor alone? 

Are you fine with doing two of those options as a single, but won’t undertake the other alone? Which one? Why?

Do you refuse to do any of those activities alone? Why?

Are comfortable doing all those things by yourself? Why?

I ask, because I don’t understand the fear, or the stigma attached with doing any of those things alone. I’ve done all of those things alone – and I’m fine with it. (Can you see why writing is a good career for me?)

A few days ago, couple of friends and I were talking, and the subject of a female going into a bar alone came up.  We were actually talking about Las Vegas and I said I didn’t have a problem going into a bar in Las Vegas or anywhere else by myself. I don’t do it often, but I’ve certainly done it. (And no, I was not alone when this picture was taken. My husband was with me.)

I think both of my friends were a little shocked. I think the general thought process was that if a female goes into a bar alone, there is a perception she is there looking to get picked up. I guess I’m kind of surprised (and feel a little naïve) that, after all these years, the trampy barfly concept is still alive and well. Who knew?

I’m of the opinion that a person who is in a bar to hook up sends out a completely different vibe than someone who isn’t. I also think it’s fairly easy, if you are approached when you’re out alone, to make it clear you’re not looking for a ‘date.’ 

What are your experiences…thoughts?

KMA 367

 

 

 

 

 

Things Are Just Ducky!

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So, last Thursday I had kind of a stressful day.

My husband was scheduled for a medical procedure where he would have to be put under complete sedation. Amongst other things, this test was to be sure he didn’t have anything ‘bad’ going on inside his body. I tried not to show it, but I was seriously worried.

Thankfully, the procedure went well and all appears to be under control. However, he did need some prescription medicine. So, after I got him home and resting in bed, I headed off to the grocery store to get his prescription filled and do a little grocery shopping. After picking up some meat, ice cream, cottage cheese, wine and milk, I headed home.

Forgive me while I go into details about the scene I’m going to describe. One of the main roads in my neighborhood is a four-lane street with a raised center divider. There are also left turn lanes at the intersections. This roadway is fairly busy and people drive way faster than they should. On each side of the road there is vegetation of grass, plants and shrubs. The center divider also has flowers, trees, and plants. It’s a lovely neighborhood.

I’m driving home from the market and see some road-kill in the street. I don’t look too closely, because it always breaks my heart to see the dead animals. I come to a signal-controlled intersection. The intersection is a ‘T’ configuration with the top part of the ‘T’ being on the four-lane road, and the ‘support’ section of the ‘T’ being a side street.
I’m in the number #1 (left) lane of the street. There is one car in front of me, and one car in the lane next to me. There is no one directly next to me. We are all stopped at a red light.

The light changes and the car in front of me surges ahead. Suddenly, a gaggle of ducklings veers from beneath that car and heads toward the car in the #2 lane that is now beginning to accelerate forward. I’m thinking I’m going to witness a duckling massacre, but the little guys were fast and got out of the way of that car in the nick of time by running back my way. I put on my hazard lights and put my car in park and start to get out of my car. Which sends the little guys back into the #2 lane.

I look in my rear-view mirror and I see a car fast approaching in the #2 lane. I did what any normal human being would do…I pulled my car across both lanes of traffic, which had the desired effect of slowing down and stopping all the approaching traffic. It would have been better if I’d been in a police car though. Anyway…

I’ve got traffic stopped in two of the lanes of traffic and I’m in the middle of this intersection trying to shoo the ducklings out of the traffic lanes. Another lady is on the sidewalk encouraging me, but she has a young daughter with her and I don’t think she wanted to have her daughter in the street.

I have to say, I haven’t lost my command presence since I’ve been retired. I had all four lanes of traffic at a stop, plus one poor woman on the side street. A lone duckling had gotten under her car and I kept telling her not to move. Thankfully, she was okay with that. Surprisingly, not one car honked or moved – even when the light changed.

Finally I got the ducklings up on the sidewalk, but not before I’d lost two who’d slid into the storm drain. Meanwhile, about seven other people had stopped to help – one of them being a woman who worked in an animal hospital. She had a crate where we began placing the ducklings after we caught them.

Meanwhile, I’m thinking of my husband – who needs his meds and worry that my ice cream is melting. I tell the crew I have to go, but I’ll be back.

I go home, my husband is on the phone, I throw his meds to him, and tell him I’ll be back. I get my groceries and throw the perishables in the freezer and fridge.

On my way back to the scene, I stop at the nearby fire station and begin banging on the door. No one came. Luckily a rescue ambulance returns to the station. I explain to the paramedics what’s going on and that we’ve got two ducklings in the storm drain. To my relief they seem eager to help out.

The paramedics get to the scene and make short work of opening the storm drain. One of the men lowers himself into the hole and after a few minutes comes up with one of the ducklings. Unfortunately, the other duckling was afraid and ran down an off-shoot of the storm drain.

In total, I think we rescued eight ducklings. Sadly, the ‘road kill’ was the mother duck and one duckling.

One of my fellow rescuers was going to take the ducklings to a wildlife animal refuge where the ducklings would be raised by hand until they were ready to be set free.

When I got home, I apologized to my husband and explained where I’d been. When I got to the point in the story about getting out of my car, stopping traffic, and duck wrangling, he clapped his hands and said, “Good for you! You did the right thing.”

I still worry about the duckling that ran down the storm drain. In fact, I’ve been back several times to see if I could see him/her. Yes, I’ve got a soft heart…but don’t tell anyone!

KMA 367

Third Time’s a Charm

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This is the third time I’ve written today’s blog. No, there wasn’t a computer snafu. I’ve had trouble with content. Here’s the deal…

The first post I wrote I was writing about Facebook and whether or not the social media site was on its way out. It was a good post, citing some of the recent problems with the company and Facebook page formatting changes that I think…suck. I was quite blunt. The only thing that worried me was that Facebook might come after me – or heaven forbid – cut me off for being rebellious. I scrapped that post.

My second attempt at a blog for today led me to write one of my cleverest works yet. It was entertaining, crafty, and funny. So where is it?

Because the blog post involved my husband I thought I should run it by him before posting. Truth be told, I knew he might have some issues with it and I was right. It was just a tad bit too revealing about our personal life…him in particular. He put the kibosh on that post this morning. It’s really a shame. It was darn good writing – if I do say so myself.

So, here we are with my third post, and I’m cheating. I’m doing a reminder that I currently have a contest going on my website where you can win a fabulous prize if you answer a question about my book.

I’m going to try to insert the link to the Code 7 page where the contest info is listed on my website, but I am having some trouble with my blog site. Not enough so I can’t post, but if you can’t access it from this page, copy and paste the link and it should work. If not, go to www.Kathy Bennett.com and click on the Code 7 page.

http://kathybennett.com/code7.aspx

So that’s it. Short – sweet – and a third time treat!

Until next time,

KMA 367

Spirit In The Sky

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As I write this article, my late brother Danny is on my mind. His birthday is next week. If he were alive, he’d be 66 years old. I miss him.

Danny was ten years older than me, and enlisted into the Marine Corps at age seventeen. When he came home on leave we’d find three, four, and sometimes even five marines sleeping on our family room floor. My Dad worked two jobs, one of them the graveyard shift at a machine shop. As long as he was able to get his sleep he didn’t mind the houseguests.

My no-nonsense mother handled the extra bodies with grace; although in private, Danny received a stern tongue-lashing. Mom worked full-time and weekends were her time to do all the laundry, shopping, cooking and cleaning for the week. It wasn’t in her plans to entertain a house full of Marines. Her frustration went unheeded because the next weekend another group of guys would be camped out in our home.

These young men came from all parts of the country and were polite, respectful, but mostly they were appreciative of my mother’s hospitality and cooking. As quickly as the Marines landed, by late Sunday morning they’d be gone.

Sometimes, my brother would come home alone. We never knew when he’d appear, and his homecomings were always filled with surprise and excitement.

One time he came home driving a brand new Pontiac – big deal in the early 1960′s. Another time he came home with a black and white puppy. Naturally, the care of the puppy fell to my mother because Danny couldn’t take the dog back on base with him. One time, at age seven, I was being chased in our backyard by a pair of mean roosters with sharp beaks. My screams brought my brother running barefoot and shirtless wielding a hoe to scare off the vicious foul.

My brother served 20 years in the Marine Corps being deployed three times to Vietnam. He married and had two sons. Unfortunately, the marriage didn’t work out.

Later in life, in his mid-fifties, Danny had a brain aneurysm that caused a massive stroke. He wasn’t expected to live. He was in a coma for six weeks. I would get up at three in the morning so that, before going to work, I could softly play his favorite western music in his ear. When he came out of the coma, he was partially paralyzed on his right side and had some memory loss and trouble speaking.

While many people might be bitter under the same circumstances, not Danny. He was always cheerful, funny and didn’t feel at all sorry for himself.

I became his primary caregiver although he was pretty well self-sufficient. Mostly, I took care of his finances. Danny was determined to be the best that he could be and took great pride in doing things for himself. He got a motorized scooter and was often seen zipping around Simi Valley, hanging out at the bowling alley or eating at his favorite restaurants.

Eventually he wanted to move to Carson City to be near his sons. I helped him find a house to rent and arranged for the move. About a year after he moved to Nevada, he suddenly developed pancreatitis. For eight weeks, he was gravely ill, and then sadly, Danny passed away. I was devastated.

One of the possessions I brought back from Danny’s house was a favorite of his – a clock that was equipped with a pendulum. When I packed it, I’d unhooked the pendulum and taped it inside the clock, then wrapped the whole thing in a towel. And yet, when I unwrapped the clock I couldn’t find the pendulum.

I searched my SUV, the towel and the clock. I couldn’t imagine what had happened to pendulum. I never did find it. Months passed. I took my vehicle to the carwash numerous times. Eventually, I decided to sell my car. At the dealership as I was about to turn the keys over to the salesman, I decided to take one more quick look to be sure I had everything out of the car.

I got in the driver’s seat and checked the center console then I twisted in my seat to look at the back seat of the SUV. There, after eight months, centered perfectly in the rear seat of my car was the pendulum for the clock.

I miss my brother, but I also know that even though I can’t see him, he’s always with me. Happy Birthday Danny. Semper Fi.

Finding A Better Time To Write

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I’ve been writing for a long time. I’ve always struggled with finding time to get my daily pages written. When I was working full-time, I didn’t feel as much pressure to produce because ‘I had a day job’ as a police officer. My days/nights entailed working twelve-hour shifts.

By choice, I worked what would be commonly known as the graveyard shift…except, unlike in the olden days, because of the twelve-hour shifts, my graveyard shift started at 6:00 p.m. and lasted until 6:30 a.m. So, it was understandable that on the days I worked, I probably wouldn’t get any writing done. But I also found that my days off were crammed full of grocery shopping, trips to the cleaners, and the most important trek to the hairdresser to cover the gray roots. You know, regular life.

But early last year I retired from the police department and became a full-time writer. Now what excuse did I have for not cranking out pages? None.

Well, that’s not entirely true. My mother is in an assisted living residence and I go to see her 3-4 days a week. Round trip it’s a 70-mile jaunt. But I don’t miss my visits with my mom unless I physically can’t get there. So far, travel (writing conferences) and having major surgery have been the only reason I’ve missed any visits.

I still have errands to do, and I will say retirement has allowed me a lot more flexibility with those. Even with more time in retirement, I wasn’t producing pages in the quantity that I’d envisioned. I find I’m busier in retirement than when I was working. In part, some of that was because I’d self-published my debut novel, A Dozen Deadly Roses and after the book was up for sale I spent a lot of time doing promotion.

What I found was that I could easily spend 7 – 14 hours a day on the computer, but not really get a lot of writing done. I was constantly trying to whittle away at my email in box that can fill up in the blink of an eye. I was following leads on books reviewers who were willing to read e-books. I was promoting (and goofing around) on Facebook and trying to understand Twitter, Triberr, Linkdin et al. Does any of this sound familiar?

I recently published my second book, A Deadly Blessing. I’m doing some promotional efforts, but really haven’t gotten into full swing with that yet. Instead I’m devoting more time to writing the next book in the series. By accident, I stumbled across a schedule or a system that is working for me.

Before I continue, I’m going to tell you flat out that what I’m doing probably won’t work for most of you. But I compare it to making the decision to self-publish. It’s not necessarily the right choice for everyone. But maybe what I’m doing will get you to think outside the box and look at your schedule and see where you find your best writing time.

This is what I discovered. First, I made a commitment to writing a certain number of words per day. I started out with 500 words per day. That went pretty well so mid-stream in the first week I upped that goal to 1000 words per day.

One day I’d been busy running errands and hadn’t gotten my word count in for the day. I was determined not to fall behind so at 10:00 p.m. sat down to write my pages. I worked until a little after 1:00 a.m. I staggered to bed and got up at 6:00 a.m. the next morning to take care of our animals, get them fed, etc.

I went to visit mom, sent my husband off to work (he works nights) and after he left, I thought I’d take a little nap. I slept for two and a half hours that afternoon and after I woke up, I did a little housework and laundry. When nine o’clock came around, thanks to my nap, I felt pretty good for writing. I sat down and wrote 1500 words. I think I finished up about the same time 1:00 a.m. I’m just beginning my next book and the first pages are always the hardest for me, so it’s slow going.

The next day I took another long nap and then wrote until the wee hours of the morning. The way it’s worked out is that I’m getting about four hours of sleep during the hours of darkness and about 2-3 hours of sleep during the day. I’ve worked as late as 3:00 a.m. (and still gotten up at 6:00 a.m.) but I feel my former years of working the graveyard shift lets me do this without too much trouble.

But this is the real secret of what I’ve learned. You all are in bed late at night and in the early morning hours…yes, even those of you who live on the east coast. You don’t write email, you don’t to post to Facebook and you’re not buying books, so there is no need for me to check my sales numbers. I no longer have those distractions I could rationalize that were necessary and found so irresistible.

Not only was I able to write more, it’s better writing right from the first draft.

How long will this schedule last? I don’t know but it’s working now, so I’m going to use it as long as I can. Like I said, I don’t think this type of schedule is for everyone, but maybe you’ll find inspiration in my process and discover the best writing time for you.

Oh, and one thing I’ve learned: without a doubt I love my afternoon naps!

Until next time,

KMA367

Elders Flourish in Follies…With Finesse

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My mom is in her late eighties.  When it comes to giving her gifts, it can be a challenge.  So, this past Christmas, I bought tickets for her and I to go to a live stage show in Palm Springs.  There is something remarkable about this show, which I’ll divulge in just a second.

 

The show is called the Palm Springs Follies and they are celebrating their 21st season.  Mom and I have both seen the show before.  In fact, mom introduced me to the follies about ten years ago when made the trek to the low desert with her retiree’s club.  We’ve been back twice since then.

 

The Follies is housed in the Plaza Theater in the heart of Palm Springs.  It’s a cozy venue, with the appearance of a 1940’s movie theater (complete with balcony section) with hints of a nightclub thrown in.  As guests file into the theater, television commercials from the 1950’s and 1960’s play on a big screen.

 

It’s hard to miss the fact that the audience for this show is a senior crowd.   Oh, there are a few younger faces in the mix – and by younger, I mean folks in their 40’s and 50’s.  But there is a reason for this. 

 

The show is not only tailored for an audience made of an ‘older’ majority, but the entertainers are well into their 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and 80’s!  Yes, you read that right…singers and dancers from their mid-fifties up into their eighties.

Initially, the idea of watching septuagenarian and octogenarians showgirls might instill visions of flabby-skinned, wrinkled, osteoporosis-bent, women in faded feathers and sequins.  Let me assure you, this is NOT the case.  In fact, the first time I saw the show, I didn’t believe the age of the performers.  The singers and dancers in this show have better bodies, more energy, and more life in them than many twenty and thirty-year olds I know.

 

Every season there is a theme to the show.  One year I attended, it was Get Your Kicks on Route 66.  This year’s theme is, Hot, Hot, Hot!  The first scene included well-known summertime songs: Surfin’ USA, Under the Boardwalk, Summer in the City, to name a few.  Singers and dancers sang, gyrated, and tapped their way in stupendous costumes across the stage.

 

Scene two was an ‘honor roll’ of the beautiful women who grace the stage.  Their male counterparts, each in tux’s with tails, lead each female performer across the stage.  The women wore traditional Las Vegas-type showgirl costumes with huge, lush headdresses.  It wouldn’t be an easy feat for a woman in her twenties – much less her seventies.

 

In this scene each performer tells a little about their life and how they came to wind up in the Plaza Theater in Palm Springs.  At the end of their recitation, they proudly announce their age…and gasps from the audience can be heard throughout the theater.

 

But there is even more to this show.  Each time I’ve come to the Follies, a talented ventriloquist has handled the third scene.  This show it was Brad Cummings and his smart-aleck dinosaur.  I’ve always found the ventriloquists to be entertaining and a pleasurable break in the action.

 

The second act of the show opened with favorite songs from various eras and featured the cast singing and dancing to Stepping Out With My Baby, Two Darn Hot, Rock and Roll Music, Tutti Frutti and more.  The cast comes out strong and vivacious in every number and has never disappointed.

 

Scene two in the second act is usually handled by the guest star. In this case, the guest was Maureen McGovern probably most famous for singing the song, The Morning After from the movie, The Poseidon Adventure. I have to tell you that I’ve known Ms. McGovern’s music, but I think all these years she has been highly under-rated!  I was blown away by her performance and the strength and versatility of her voice.  Frankly, I would have paid the price of the ticket for the whole show just to see her.  Bravo, Ms. McGovern, bravo!

 

The last scene in each performance is a patriotic extravaganza where the cast sings and dances while saluting our great country.  In this version, the veterans in the audience were asked to stand for recognition while their particular branch of service was honored.  My mother was proud to stand along with other men and women who have served our country. It’s a crowd-pleasing way to end the show.  But wait…I’ve saved the best for last.

 

In every show of this type, there has to be a guide, a leader, to stitch the scenes together with clever banter.  The ‘king’ of the Palm Springs Follies is none other than their Managing Director and Producer, Riff Markowitz.  While probably not a household name, Markowitz has been in show business for 60 years. I can’t vouch for his earlier accomplishments, but in the Palm Springs Follies, Markowitz can’t be touched. His sometimes un-politically correct humor is embraced by the audience. If you’re sitting in the first couple of rows in the theater, you may find yourself the target of zingers…and the unprepared participants and the audience love it!

 

So, if you can’t tell, I love this show. If you’re coming to Southern California and can afford $50 – $93 dollars for a show that lasts approximately two hours and forty-five minutes (with one intermission), I encourage you to give the follies a try.  I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.  Because of the heat during the summer months, I believe the Follies season runs from September to May.  If you’re interested, you can visit their site at http://www.psfollies.com/

 

 

 

Until next time,

KMA367

From Cop to Writer – Different But the Same

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One of the things an applicant for the Los Angeles Police Department has to do in the hiring process is to be interviewed.  In my day, there were two police sergeants and a civilian on each interview board, and part of their duty was to determine if a person ‘had the right mindset’ to be an LAPD officer.
I know that one of the first questions I was asked was: Why do you want to be a police officer?  My reply, in part, was about wanting to help people. Not surprisingly, ‘helping people’ is a very common thread in applicant replies to the question, about why a person wants to become a cop.
With my new career of writing stories, if I’d been asked why I wanted to write, my reply would have been: I want to entertain people while giving them a glimpse into the world of the LAPD.
Little did I know that my writing career would achieve the same result as my police career.  Through my writing I’ve touched someone. I’ve helped someone.
I got this letter from a young woman and I was so impacted by her story and her words I asked her if I could share them with you.  She agreed.
The lesson to writers: If you think what you write can’t or doesn’t make a difference…think again.
This is the actual letter by the young woman I’ll call, Miss H…
Reading is by far not my specialty. I’m about three grade levels under my own on reading skills. Sure I can read your average every day children’s book but anything over 100 pages puts my heart in shock. In other words, I don’t read much.  
When I bought my Barnes & Noble Nook Color, I for sure thought, “I just wasted a perfectly good 240 bucks!” 
See this is where I was wrong. I ran across your book, A Dozen Deadly Roses, one day while sitting on my couch listening to the bickering and arguing of my dysfunctional family.  
At first I just skimmed over it then I took a second look. I decided to buy the book and open a page or two to see if it was worth reading. My journey through your book began slow, to slow. Then something caught my eye, Jade.  
Shockingly, we have much in common; a remarkable, strong willed mother, filling her duties as a cop in everyday life. It was everything I dreamt of being.  
I felt a strong connection with her and Donnie. My father is an alcoholic, I knew exactly what Jade was going through.  
Although Jade became a new idol in my world, I felt myself many times screaming at her, “why won’t you tell Mac that he’s the father, why?!” Then I realized it was for the better. It opened my eyes to that you shouldn’t always do the expected but rather do what’s best in that situation for you and others involved.
I also love the fact that you use to be an actual LAPD cop. When I read that about you, my heart skipped a beat. I felt like I had even more of a connection with your book because for once a fiction book wasn’t so fiction anymore. Your book had more life in it; it wasn’t “just a book” anymore. I loved that.  
My desire to be a cop has been a dream of mine for a long time. However, my mom and others like to crush that dream. Jade gave me a lot of courage in reading this book. She showed me that I need to be brave and stand up in what I dream and love. Jade also gave me the strength in my heart that seemed so broken from others. She made a light shine in me like no one has ever done before.  
Reading your book has changed my life.  
I was doubting my future before I read your book; here I had planned my whole high school diploma based on wanting to be a cop, and then it was just gone, like it wasn’t even worth any of the time I gave it. 
I felt lost, like a loser in a big ocean of popular people. 
Jade’s character made me open my eyes and realize that it’s my life and I can do anything I want to do if I believe I can.  
I thank you, Kathy Bennett, for not only changing my mind but showing me a new way of life. 
I will read your book again and enjoy every page turning chase it gives me. I assure you that you book was so worth every minute I put in it.
Kathy here – Needless to say I wrote back to Miss H and we’ve corresponded a few times. I found that when I wrote back to Miss H I’d put on my  ‘police officer’ hat and tried to offer advice, encouragement and compassion.  And you know what?  I was glad to wear that hat again.
Miss H feels I’ve changed her life with my book. Little does she know how much she’s changed mine.
Until next time, 
KMA367

Taking Off the Uniform – A Year Later

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I’m writing this article on February 22nd.  It’s a beautiful Southern California day with temperatures expected to hit the low eighties.  I can tell you that February 22, 2011, was also a beautiful day.  The sun was shining and there was a light breeze in the air.

Now you’re probably wondering if I’m a living almanac.  I’m not.  On this date last year, it was a Tuesday and my last day of working for the LAPD.  My co-workers threw me a fabulous BBQ.  My retirement wasn’t official until February 26th, but that BBQ was my last day at Devonshire Station.  Oh, I snuck back in and did my last Basic Car meeting on Wednesday, but I was in plain clothes and it was more of a party than a meeting.

If I had to describe my retirement in one word, I’d say: hectic.

One of the main reasons I retired was because my mother had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.  I spent most of March taking Mom to various doctors for various issues.  I’ve been driving over 70 miles three times a week to spend time with her.  

I also needed to catch up on my own periodic doctor appointments.  Some of those doctor visits were in relation to the back injury I’d suffered in an on-duty traffic collision. 

In addition, I began to get phone calls from friends who all wanted to have lunch, since I had ‘nothing but time on my hands.’ I didn’t want to burst their bubble about what retirement is all about, so I went.

I’d already made my decision to self-publish my debut novel and was working with a cover designer to get the cover ready. I also took an online class to learn how to make a book trailer (much like a movie trailer) for my book.  I also tried to learn how to format my manuscript for e-reading devices (Kindle, Nook, etc.)  I joined two other writing groups and started reading up on how to promote my book and myself.

June was a huge month for me.  I launched my book on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.  My second career had begun!  But it wasn’t just the book launch that made the month special.  I also had been approved for an epidural shot to help ease the pain in my back.  I had that procedure done in mid-June.

The month of July was a blur to me.  I spent as long hours at my computer self-promoting my book by requesting reviews from book reviewers and book bloggers.  I attended the Public Safety Writer’s Association yearly conference in Las Vegas as a speaker.  The only problem was, that I’d arrived a few days early and, by the time the conference rolled around I was seriously ill and had to go home.  What a way to make a good impression.  Thankfully, to my knowledge, no one else got sick. 

In August, my book ‘took off’ on the Barnes and Noble website and I was in their Top 100 of all their books being sold.  It wasn’t long and I hit the Top 100 at Amazon as well.  This was another month of heavy book promotion.  You have no idea how many book-related websites there are on the Internet!

However, August was also a sad month too.  Over the few months I’d been stopping in three times a week to care for Mom, I’d come to realize that Mom’s condition was way more advanced than either my sister or I realized.  We came to the conclusion Mom would have to go into an assisted living facility. 

The arrangements were made to get Mom moved and comfortable in her new place.  I spent the first two days with her to help her get oriented and continue to visit her three times a week. None-the-less, it was one of the hardest decisions my sister and I had ever made.

In September, I taught an online writing class.  It was also time for Mom’s scheduled visits to her doctors and I was still seeing a group of doctors regarding my back.  Oh, and have I said that during this whole time I was revising my second book, A Deadly Blessing?

October found me teaching another on-line writing class and taking Saturday’s to go cheer at my granddaughter’s soccer games.  I was still revising my next book and began working with new website designers to give my website a facelift.

I was still spending about six hours a day self-promoting my book in November.  I guess I should clarify here that when I say self-promoting, I was also reading the tons of articles to keep abreast of the vast changes in the writing scene.  I also ‘ran away’ for a few days to a hotel where I could lay out the 300+ pages of my revised book and see how it all was flowing.

I don’t really need to say anything about December.  It was the holiday season, filled with more events, obligations and merriment than usual.

The first of this year has been spent revising and editing A Deadly Blessing and I’m keeping my fingers crossed it comes out in March. The manuscript is in the hands of beta readers right now.

But what about my former life?  My life as a cop.  What about that?  It doesn’t happen often, (mostly because I dot have time to think about it), But sometimes I ache to be driving the black and white and wearing my uniform and badge. I’ll see LAPD officers on a traffic stop, but now, instead of being their back-up, I’m a typical rubbernecker.  Driving to where my mom lives for a visit, I’ll see the LAPD helicopter racing to a call somewhere or orbiting over a ‘hot’ call.  I want so badly to know what’s going on and to be ‘in’ on the action. 

I wanted to find a way to cope with those feelings.  So, when I see police activity that tugs at my memories, I try to think of possible circumstances of the incident that I can turn into a scene in a future book.  Admittedly, it doesn’t always cure the melancholy, but it leads to some really interesting pages on my computer.

Until next time,

 

KMA367       

 

What’d You Do At School Today?

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It’s a horrifying disgusting story that strikes fear in every parent.  And if the original revelation wasn’t bad enough, there was more.  What am I talking about?   A news story that broke last week when a third grade elementary school teacher was arrested for felony child abuse.

What makes this case so despicable are the details.  A film developer at a Southern California CVS store called police when the developer noticed 40 pictures they were processing  allegedly depicted children who were blindfolded and sometimes gagged. The pictures allegedly showed children who had insects (cockroaches) on their faces.  If that wasn’t bad enough, the photos also allegedly revealed children being fed fluid from a plastic spoon or being given a cookie to eat.  The cookies were allegedly covered in a similar-looking fluid.

The investigation revealed the mysterious fluid in the plastic spoon and on the cookie was actually bodily fluids, (semen) allegedly from the teacher.  This teacher taught at the school for over 30 years!  At this time, the investigation has revealed 23 alleged victims ages six to ten covering the period between 2005 and 2010. 

Even for unflappable Los Angeles, this is a highly disturbing story.  But it gets worse.  The teacher accused of these crimes was arrested last Monday.  On last Friday, a second teacher was arrested at the same school for allegedly committing lewd acts with a child.  At this time, it doesn’t appear the two cases are related.  

In the second situation, two students came forward alleging their teacher had fondled them in the classroom.  I saw one news story where one of the girls had allegedly been molested by both teachers. 

So, now you have a little background…which brings me to the true point of my blog today. As parents, it is imperative that you talk to your children about inappropriate behavior by anyone.  Because, sadly, the fact today is that a molester can be anyone.  

Parents, it’s up to you to teach your children about boundaries and about what is acceptable behavior and what is not.  And don’t think just because you’ve talked to your kids once that’s enough.  There are molesters out there who ‘specialize’ in different ages of children, so your child is vulnerable at any age.

I know my mother talked to me on numerous occasions about different dangerous scenarios I might find myself in and how I’d respond.  By bringing up things that might possibly happen to me (and I’m betting her examples were from local news stories) it allowed us to discuss how I could protect myself from such situations and what to do, if despite my best efforts, I was in danger.

While it sounds dark and ominous and like a real kill-joy to time spent with your child, I didn’t view it in that light.  I felt better prepared, when at age 13, a man pulled up next to me and wanted me to get into his car.

You don’t have to spend an hour each day lecturing your kids…but you do need to open that line of communication and get your children to realize there are bad people in the world who may try to prey on them.  How many times do you ask your kids what they did at school today and they say something like: “The same old thing.  Nothin’.”  And, because you’ve got twenty other things on your mind, you’re satisfied with that answer.

Apparently, in the first situation, the teacher had allegedly told the students they were playing a game and many of the kids didn’t think this type of behavior was odd or unusual. Now, imagine this…You pick your child up from school and ask them what they did that day.  They tell you their teacher blindfolded them and gagged them and took pictures of them with bugs on their faces.  Wouldn’t this set off alarm bells in your mind?  You bet it would.  And this is what I’m trying to get you to see.  You’ve got to, not only talk to your children, but engage with them.  Get them to open up – no easy feat, I know.

As a parent, it’s easy to think, My Johnny (or Sally) is too smart to be taken in by some pervert.  Don’t fool yourself!  With the advent of the internet, many of these creeps share information about how and where to find victims.  They discuss what works and what doesn’t.  They also discuss how to get children to not alert their parents of what’s going on. These sickos live and breathe for their next opportunity to victimize a child.  Don’t let it be your child.  Talk to your kids about boundaries.  Let your children know you will believe them if they come to you if they are victimized – no matter who the suspect is.  

I know you’re busy.  I know it’s uncomfortable.  But if you aren’t willing to put in the time with your children, there are plenty of molesters who are.

Until next time…

KMA367