Category Archives: Family

From the Little Sister’s Point of View

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I have many memories of my childhood, but some of the most poignant are regarding my sister, Susan. We’re eight years apart in age, (she’s older) but our actual birthday’s are only one week apart. Yesterday, she had a ‘milestone,’ birthday. Whoo hoo!

We may both be Leos on the astrological charts, but we couldn’t be more different. We don’t look alike, and we certainly don’t think alike, and our personalities are very dissimilar.

While I’ve always tried to be a people-pleaser, my sister is outspoken and, when I was younger, most of the time I thought of her as a rebel. As kids, those rebel inclinations would sometimes get her in trouble with our mother, who was the main disciplinarian in our household. But in my eyes, they made Sue seem daring and exciting. She did things I would never dream of doing – of course, I was younger and couldn’t even imagine some of her exploits. A quick example: Late at night, Sue used to sneak out her bedroom window to go outside and meet with…boys! I’m not sure how Mom learned about those late-night visits, but once she did, she put the kibosh on them.

It’s not surprising that my sister would be attracting members of the opposite sex. With her long naturally blonde hair, aquamarine eyes, and an easy laugh she was a beauty. I used to watch her getting ready for dates and wishing I were old enough to go on dates too.

And sometimes I did get to go on dates. I think our Mom thought if she sent me along on Sue’s dates, I was a quasi chaperone – even at age seven. Of course, back in those days, the movies didn’t have a rating system, and there were drive-ins where the price was set by the carload, so another person in the car didn’t cost the boy any extra money. What Mom didn’t know, was once we got to the drive-in, Sue and her date would put a blanket out on the ground in the parking space next to theirs and buy me candy so I’d lay on the blanket and watch the movie while they ‘watched’ it from the car. It’s a wonder I never got run over! But it was such a different time back then. Can you imagine telling a teenager today they had to take their little sister on their date with them? Ha!

Another thing about my sister was that she had the most beautiful clothes. In particular, I remember a blue lace semi-formal that made her look like a princess. I don’t remember where she wore it, but I do remember how pretty she looked. (I didn’t get to go on that date.) As I got older, sometimes I would get her hand-me-downs. When I was in junior high, Sue gave me a pair of pink Mary-Jane shoes that had thick stacked heels. I loved those shoes and had a dress that matched them perfectly. Unfortunately, as I continued to grow, I couldn’t fit into her size 5 shoes anymore.

Another vivid memory I have is playing hide and go seek with my friends. In the summer, all the kids would play in the street until it got dark. Well, on this summer evening, we were playing and I recognized a car coming down the street as belonging to a boyfriend my sister had just broken up with. To my shock, the boy drove his car right into the back of a car that was parked across the street! When the police came, (a HUGE deal on our street,) the boy said he was driving down our street trying to get a glimpse of my sister. He’d taken his eyes off the road and crashed. Ah, the price of young love.

But there have been times – although very few – where my sister and I were in sync, and totally agreed on something.

One of those times was when the decision was made that Mom’s Alzheimer’s disease had gotten to the point where it was no longer safe for Mom to live by herself. We made arrangements to move Mom to assisted living. We found a place that we both loved, but that still didn’t take away the guilt of moving Mom out of her home. What made it worse was that Mom refused to even discuss having other living arrangements. So, Sue and I formulated a plan where we’d take Mom to a movie and the rest of the family would move Mom’s belongings to her new assisted living facility while we were gone. Instead of taking Mom home, we’d be taking her to her new assisted living home.

On that day, both Sue and I were quite emotional, but couldn’t show it or Mom would wonder what was wrong. It’s one of the few times that Sue and I have been united in purpose and thought. We didn’t like the task at hand, but we knew it was necessary.

The movie we’d taken Mom to see was a highly acclaimed film, but I didn’t care for it. And to my surprise, as the three of us walked out to my car, Sue said, “I didn’t like that movie,“ and then stated her reasons for not liking it. And the reasons she didn’t like the movie were the very causes that the film was being celebrated. But in that particular case, it was as though she’d read my mind. She’d articulated my feelings about the movie perfectly.

Was it the emotion of the day that had us relating? Or…gasp…perhaps we’re more similar than we think.

KMA367

Third Time’s a Charm

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This is the third time I’ve written today’s blog. No, there wasn’t a computer snafu. I’ve had trouble with content. Here’s the deal…

The first post I wrote I was writing about Facebook and whether or not the social media site was on its way out. It was a good post, citing some of the recent problems with the company and Facebook page formatting changes that I think…suck. I was quite blunt. The only thing that worried me was that Facebook might come after me – or heaven forbid – cut me off for being rebellious. I scrapped that post.

My second attempt at a blog for today led me to write one of my cleverest works yet. It was entertaining, crafty, and funny. So where is it?

Because the blog post involved my husband I thought I should run it by him before posting. Truth be told, I knew he might have some issues with it and I was right. It was just a tad bit too revealing about our personal life…him in particular. He put the kibosh on that post this morning. It’s really a shame. It was darn good writing – if I do say so myself.

So, here we are with my third post, and I’m cheating. I’m doing a reminder that I currently have a contest going on my website where you can win a fabulous prize if you answer a question about my book.

I’m going to try to insert the link to the Code 7 page where the contest info is listed on my website, but I am having some trouble with my blog site. Not enough so I can’t post, but if you can’t access it from this page, copy and paste the link and it should work. If not, go to www.Kathy Bennett.com and click on the Code 7 page.

http://kathybennett.com/code7.aspx

So that’s it. Short – sweet – and a third time treat!

Until next time,

KMA 367

A Gift We Both Enjoyed

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My mother has Alzheimer’s disease. She lives in an assisted living residence and is quite content there. In fact, so much so, that it’s hard to get her to leave her ‘known’ environment. When we do go out, she generally doesn’t like to be gone for too long…maybe four or five hours maximum.

Additionally, while in theory, taking Mom to a movie or other form of entertainment seems like a great idea to offer some diversity, the disease has created a situation where she doesn’t seem to have the attention span for it.

So, with Mother’s Day rolling around, I was struggling to find something I could ‘give’ to Mom to honor her on Mother’s special day. As a daughter of the depression, Mom hates to have people spend money for flowers for her; and in her late eighties, she doesn’t really like new clothes, jewelry or knickknacks for her room. She likes the same clothes she’s been wearing for years, has never been much for wearing jewelry, and doesn’t really pay too much attention to ‘stuff’ in her environment.

We talked about it and I’d throw out gift ideas and things we could do, but none of them were striking a chord…that is until I asked her if she’d like to go to Disneyland. Her eyes lit up and she said, “Disneyland. I haven’t been there in a long time.” She’s right. The last time she’d been there was when my husband and I took her about seven years ago.

I asked her if she’d like to go to Disneyland for the day and then reminded her of some of her favorite rides. She seemed kind of excited and said she’d like to go. I knew it would be a short day at the amusement park, but as I age, a short day was fine with me.

Mom normally uses a walker, but I rented her a wheelchair and we were off for our first adventure…The Tiki Room. Once the animatronic birds began to sing their staccato chorus: “In the Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room,” Mom was singing along and clapping her hands. After that, we rode a number of rides, Pirates of the Caribbean, the Haunted Mansion, the Jungle Cruise, and yes, the Indiana Jones Adventure.

When Mom had been at Disneyland eight years earlier with my husband and I, we’d all taken our maiden voyage on the Indiana Jones ride. Mom has never been a fan of roller coasters, but she really enjoyed that jaunt, laughing the whole time. Fast-forward eight years, and she wasn’t quite as enamored.

After we got off the ride, I asked her if she liked it. “It wasn’t too bad, but I don’t think I’ll go on it again.” She did like the fact that she was ‘driving’ the jeep conveyance, and joked we’d all be killed.

We had lunch, then went over the Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters. We rode the Monorail, she drove one of the little Autopia cars (while I pressed the gas pedal), and then we went on the Disney Railroad that circles the whole park. We’d go to get on a ride and she’d say, “I’ve never been on this ride before,” even though she’d ridden them many times before.

We stopped for an ice cream and then headed over to It’s A Small World. We got in line, and suddenly, Mom was ready to go…right about at five hours. So, we got out of line and made our way back to the car and headed toward home.

We’d both had a great time – actually, I had a fabulous time. It was cool because everything was new to her.

For about a week or so, she could readily remember having gone to Disneyland and some of our adventures. Now when I ask her, sometimes she remembers and sometimes she doesn’t. But one thing for sure…I’ll never forget. It was a wonderful Mother’s Day celebration for both of us.

Spirit In The Sky

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As I write this article, my late brother Danny is on my mind. His birthday is next week. If he were alive, he’d be 66 years old. I miss him.

Danny was ten years older than me, and enlisted into the Marine Corps at age seventeen. When he came home on leave we’d find three, four, and sometimes even five marines sleeping on our family room floor. My Dad worked two jobs, one of them the graveyard shift at a machine shop. As long as he was able to get his sleep he didn’t mind the houseguests.

My no-nonsense mother handled the extra bodies with grace; although in private, Danny received a stern tongue-lashing. Mom worked full-time and weekends were her time to do all the laundry, shopping, cooking and cleaning for the week. It wasn’t in her plans to entertain a house full of Marines. Her frustration went unheeded because the next weekend another group of guys would be camped out in our home.

These young men came from all parts of the country and were polite, respectful, but mostly they were appreciative of my mother’s hospitality and cooking. As quickly as the Marines landed, by late Sunday morning they’d be gone.

Sometimes, my brother would come home alone. We never knew when he’d appear, and his homecomings were always filled with surprise and excitement.

One time he came home driving a brand new Pontiac – big deal in the early 1960′s. Another time he came home with a black and white puppy. Naturally, the care of the puppy fell to my mother because Danny couldn’t take the dog back on base with him. One time, at age seven, I was being chased in our backyard by a pair of mean roosters with sharp beaks. My screams brought my brother running barefoot and shirtless wielding a hoe to scare off the vicious foul.

My brother served 20 years in the Marine Corps being deployed three times to Vietnam. He married and had two sons. Unfortunately, the marriage didn’t work out.

Later in life, in his mid-fifties, Danny had a brain aneurysm that caused a massive stroke. He wasn’t expected to live. He was in a coma for six weeks. I would get up at three in the morning so that, before going to work, I could softly play his favorite western music in his ear. When he came out of the coma, he was partially paralyzed on his right side and had some memory loss and trouble speaking.

While many people might be bitter under the same circumstances, not Danny. He was always cheerful, funny and didn’t feel at all sorry for himself.

I became his primary caregiver although he was pretty well self-sufficient. Mostly, I took care of his finances. Danny was determined to be the best that he could be and took great pride in doing things for himself. He got a motorized scooter and was often seen zipping around Simi Valley, hanging out at the bowling alley or eating at his favorite restaurants.

Eventually he wanted to move to Carson City to be near his sons. I helped him find a house to rent and arranged for the move. About a year after he moved to Nevada, he suddenly developed pancreatitis. For eight weeks, he was gravely ill, and then sadly, Danny passed away. I was devastated.

One of the possessions I brought back from Danny’s house was a favorite of his – a clock that was equipped with a pendulum. When I packed it, I’d unhooked the pendulum and taped it inside the clock, then wrapped the whole thing in a towel. And yet, when I unwrapped the clock I couldn’t find the pendulum.

I searched my SUV, the towel and the clock. I couldn’t imagine what had happened to pendulum. I never did find it. Months passed. I took my vehicle to the carwash numerous times. Eventually, I decided to sell my car. At the dealership as I was about to turn the keys over to the salesman, I decided to take one more quick look to be sure I had everything out of the car.

I got in the driver’s seat and checked the center console then I twisted in my seat to look at the back seat of the SUV. There, after eight months, centered perfectly in the rear seat of my car was the pendulum for the clock.

I miss my brother, but I also know that even though I can’t see him, he’s always with me. Happy Birthday Danny. Semper Fi.

Elders Flourish in Follies…With Finesse

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My mom is in her late eighties.  When it comes to giving her gifts, it can be a challenge.  So, this past Christmas, I bought tickets for her and I to go to a live stage show in Palm Springs.  There is something remarkable about this show, which I’ll divulge in just a second.

 

The show is called the Palm Springs Follies and they are celebrating their 21st season.  Mom and I have both seen the show before.  In fact, mom introduced me to the follies about ten years ago when made the trek to the low desert with her retiree’s club.  We’ve been back twice since then.

 

The Follies is housed in the Plaza Theater in the heart of Palm Springs.  It’s a cozy venue, with the appearance of a 1940’s movie theater (complete with balcony section) with hints of a nightclub thrown in.  As guests file into the theater, television commercials from the 1950’s and 1960’s play on a big screen.

 

It’s hard to miss the fact that the audience for this show is a senior crowd.   Oh, there are a few younger faces in the mix – and by younger, I mean folks in their 40’s and 50’s.  But there is a reason for this. 

 

The show is not only tailored for an audience made of an ‘older’ majority, but the entertainers are well into their 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and 80’s!  Yes, you read that right…singers and dancers from their mid-fifties up into their eighties.

Initially, the idea of watching septuagenarian and octogenarians showgirls might instill visions of flabby-skinned, wrinkled, osteoporosis-bent, women in faded feathers and sequins.  Let me assure you, this is NOT the case.  In fact, the first time I saw the show, I didn’t believe the age of the performers.  The singers and dancers in this show have better bodies, more energy, and more life in them than many twenty and thirty-year olds I know.

 

Every season there is a theme to the show.  One year I attended, it was Get Your Kicks on Route 66.  This year’s theme is, Hot, Hot, Hot!  The first scene included well-known summertime songs: Surfin’ USA, Under the Boardwalk, Summer in the City, to name a few.  Singers and dancers sang, gyrated, and tapped their way in stupendous costumes across the stage.

 

Scene two was an ‘honor roll’ of the beautiful women who grace the stage.  Their male counterparts, each in tux’s with tails, lead each female performer across the stage.  The women wore traditional Las Vegas-type showgirl costumes with huge, lush headdresses.  It wouldn’t be an easy feat for a woman in her twenties – much less her seventies.

 

In this scene each performer tells a little about their life and how they came to wind up in the Plaza Theater in Palm Springs.  At the end of their recitation, they proudly announce their age…and gasps from the audience can be heard throughout the theater.

 

But there is even more to this show.  Each time I’ve come to the Follies, a talented ventriloquist has handled the third scene.  This show it was Brad Cummings and his smart-aleck dinosaur.  I’ve always found the ventriloquists to be entertaining and a pleasurable break in the action.

 

The second act of the show opened with favorite songs from various eras and featured the cast singing and dancing to Stepping Out With My Baby, Two Darn Hot, Rock and Roll Music, Tutti Frutti and more.  The cast comes out strong and vivacious in every number and has never disappointed.

 

Scene two in the second act is usually handled by the guest star. In this case, the guest was Maureen McGovern probably most famous for singing the song, The Morning After from the movie, The Poseidon Adventure. I have to tell you that I’ve known Ms. McGovern’s music, but I think all these years she has been highly under-rated!  I was blown away by her performance and the strength and versatility of her voice.  Frankly, I would have paid the price of the ticket for the whole show just to see her.  Bravo, Ms. McGovern, bravo!

 

The last scene in each performance is a patriotic extravaganza where the cast sings and dances while saluting our great country.  In this version, the veterans in the audience were asked to stand for recognition while their particular branch of service was honored.  My mother was proud to stand along with other men and women who have served our country. It’s a crowd-pleasing way to end the show.  But wait…I’ve saved the best for last.

 

In every show of this type, there has to be a guide, a leader, to stitch the scenes together with clever banter.  The ‘king’ of the Palm Springs Follies is none other than their Managing Director and Producer, Riff Markowitz.  While probably not a household name, Markowitz has been in show business for 60 years. I can’t vouch for his earlier accomplishments, but in the Palm Springs Follies, Markowitz can’t be touched. His sometimes un-politically correct humor is embraced by the audience. If you’re sitting in the first couple of rows in the theater, you may find yourself the target of zingers…and the unprepared participants and the audience love it!

 

So, if you can’t tell, I love this show. If you’re coming to Southern California and can afford $50 – $93 dollars for a show that lasts approximately two hours and forty-five minutes (with one intermission), I encourage you to give the follies a try.  I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.  Because of the heat during the summer months, I believe the Follies season runs from September to May.  If you’re interested, you can visit their site at http://www.psfollies.com/

 

 

 

Until next time,

KMA367

From Cop to Writer – Different But the Same

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One of the things an applicant for the Los Angeles Police Department has to do in the hiring process is to be interviewed.  In my day, there were two police sergeants and a civilian on each interview board, and part of their duty was to determine if a person ‘had the right mindset’ to be an LAPD officer.
I know that one of the first questions I was asked was: Why do you want to be a police officer?  My reply, in part, was about wanting to help people. Not surprisingly, ‘helping people’ is a very common thread in applicant replies to the question, about why a person wants to become a cop.
With my new career of writing stories, if I’d been asked why I wanted to write, my reply would have been: I want to entertain people while giving them a glimpse into the world of the LAPD.
Little did I know that my writing career would achieve the same result as my police career.  Through my writing I’ve touched someone. I’ve helped someone.
I got this letter from a young woman and I was so impacted by her story and her words I asked her if I could share them with you.  She agreed.
The lesson to writers: If you think what you write can’t or doesn’t make a difference…think again.
This is the actual letter by the young woman I’ll call, Miss H…
Reading is by far not my specialty. I’m about three grade levels under my own on reading skills. Sure I can read your average every day children’s book but anything over 100 pages puts my heart in shock. In other words, I don’t read much.  
When I bought my Barnes & Noble Nook Color, I for sure thought, “I just wasted a perfectly good 240 bucks!” 
See this is where I was wrong. I ran across your book, A Dozen Deadly Roses, one day while sitting on my couch listening to the bickering and arguing of my dysfunctional family.  
At first I just skimmed over it then I took a second look. I decided to buy the book and open a page or two to see if it was worth reading. My journey through your book began slow, to slow. Then something caught my eye, Jade.  
Shockingly, we have much in common; a remarkable, strong willed mother, filling her duties as a cop in everyday life. It was everything I dreamt of being.  
I felt a strong connection with her and Donnie. My father is an alcoholic, I knew exactly what Jade was going through.  
Although Jade became a new idol in my world, I felt myself many times screaming at her, “why won’t you tell Mac that he’s the father, why?!” Then I realized it was for the better. It opened my eyes to that you shouldn’t always do the expected but rather do what’s best in that situation for you and others involved.
I also love the fact that you use to be an actual LAPD cop. When I read that about you, my heart skipped a beat. I felt like I had even more of a connection with your book because for once a fiction book wasn’t so fiction anymore. Your book had more life in it; it wasn’t “just a book” anymore. I loved that.  
My desire to be a cop has been a dream of mine for a long time. However, my mom and others like to crush that dream. Jade gave me a lot of courage in reading this book. She showed me that I need to be brave and stand up in what I dream and love. Jade also gave me the strength in my heart that seemed so broken from others. She made a light shine in me like no one has ever done before.  
Reading your book has changed my life.  
I was doubting my future before I read your book; here I had planned my whole high school diploma based on wanting to be a cop, and then it was just gone, like it wasn’t even worth any of the time I gave it. 
I felt lost, like a loser in a big ocean of popular people. 
Jade’s character made me open my eyes and realize that it’s my life and I can do anything I want to do if I believe I can.  
I thank you, Kathy Bennett, for not only changing my mind but showing me a new way of life. 
I will read your book again and enjoy every page turning chase it gives me. I assure you that you book was so worth every minute I put in it.
Kathy here – Needless to say I wrote back to Miss H and we’ve corresponded a few times. I found that when I wrote back to Miss H I’d put on my  ‘police officer’ hat and tried to offer advice, encouragement and compassion.  And you know what?  I was glad to wear that hat again.
Miss H feels I’ve changed her life with my book. Little does she know how much she’s changed mine.
Until next time, 
KMA367

Taking Off the Uniform – A Year Later

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I’m writing this article on February 22nd.  It’s a beautiful Southern California day with temperatures expected to hit the low eighties.  I can tell you that February 22, 2011, was also a beautiful day.  The sun was shining and there was a light breeze in the air.

Now you’re probably wondering if I’m a living almanac.  I’m not.  On this date last year, it was a Tuesday and my last day of working for the LAPD.  My co-workers threw me a fabulous BBQ.  My retirement wasn’t official until February 26th, but that BBQ was my last day at Devonshire Station.  Oh, I snuck back in and did my last Basic Car meeting on Wednesday, but I was in plain clothes and it was more of a party than a meeting.

If I had to describe my retirement in one word, I’d say: hectic.

One of the main reasons I retired was because my mother had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.  I spent most of March taking Mom to various doctors for various issues.  I’ve been driving over 70 miles three times a week to spend time with her.  

I also needed to catch up on my own periodic doctor appointments.  Some of those doctor visits were in relation to the back injury I’d suffered in an on-duty traffic collision. 

In addition, I began to get phone calls from friends who all wanted to have lunch, since I had ‘nothing but time on my hands.’ I didn’t want to burst their bubble about what retirement is all about, so I went.

I’d already made my decision to self-publish my debut novel and was working with a cover designer to get the cover ready. I also took an online class to learn how to make a book trailer (much like a movie trailer) for my book.  I also tried to learn how to format my manuscript for e-reading devices (Kindle, Nook, etc.)  I joined two other writing groups and started reading up on how to promote my book and myself.

June was a huge month for me.  I launched my book on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.  My second career had begun!  But it wasn’t just the book launch that made the month special.  I also had been approved for an epidural shot to help ease the pain in my back.  I had that procedure done in mid-June.

The month of July was a blur to me.  I spent as long hours at my computer self-promoting my book by requesting reviews from book reviewers and book bloggers.  I attended the Public Safety Writer’s Association yearly conference in Las Vegas as a speaker.  The only problem was, that I’d arrived a few days early and, by the time the conference rolled around I was seriously ill and had to go home.  What a way to make a good impression.  Thankfully, to my knowledge, no one else got sick. 

In August, my book ‘took off’ on the Barnes and Noble website and I was in their Top 100 of all their books being sold.  It wasn’t long and I hit the Top 100 at Amazon as well.  This was another month of heavy book promotion.  You have no idea how many book-related websites there are on the Internet!

However, August was also a sad month too.  Over the few months I’d been stopping in three times a week to care for Mom, I’d come to realize that Mom’s condition was way more advanced than either my sister or I realized.  We came to the conclusion Mom would have to go into an assisted living facility. 

The arrangements were made to get Mom moved and comfortable in her new place.  I spent the first two days with her to help her get oriented and continue to visit her three times a week. None-the-less, it was one of the hardest decisions my sister and I had ever made.

In September, I taught an online writing class.  It was also time for Mom’s scheduled visits to her doctors and I was still seeing a group of doctors regarding my back.  Oh, and have I said that during this whole time I was revising my second book, A Deadly Blessing?

October found me teaching another on-line writing class and taking Saturday’s to go cheer at my granddaughter’s soccer games.  I was still revising my next book and began working with new website designers to give my website a facelift.

I was still spending about six hours a day self-promoting my book in November.  I guess I should clarify here that when I say self-promoting, I was also reading the tons of articles to keep abreast of the vast changes in the writing scene.  I also ‘ran away’ for a few days to a hotel where I could lay out the 300+ pages of my revised book and see how it all was flowing.

I don’t really need to say anything about December.  It was the holiday season, filled with more events, obligations and merriment than usual.

The first of this year has been spent revising and editing A Deadly Blessing and I’m keeping my fingers crossed it comes out in March. The manuscript is in the hands of beta readers right now.

But what about my former life?  My life as a cop.  What about that?  It doesn’t happen often, (mostly because I dot have time to think about it), But sometimes I ache to be driving the black and white and wearing my uniform and badge. I’ll see LAPD officers on a traffic stop, but now, instead of being their back-up, I’m a typical rubbernecker.  Driving to where my mom lives for a visit, I’ll see the LAPD helicopter racing to a call somewhere or orbiting over a ‘hot’ call.  I want so badly to know what’s going on and to be ‘in’ on the action. 

I wanted to find a way to cope with those feelings.  So, when I see police activity that tugs at my memories, I try to think of possible circumstances of the incident that I can turn into a scene in a future book.  Admittedly, it doesn’t always cure the melancholy, but it leads to some really interesting pages on my computer.

Until next time,

 

KMA367       

 

What’d You Do At School Today?

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It’s a horrifying disgusting story that strikes fear in every parent.  And if the original revelation wasn’t bad enough, there was more.  What am I talking about?   A news story that broke last week when a third grade elementary school teacher was arrested for felony child abuse.

What makes this case so despicable are the details.  A film developer at a Southern California CVS store called police when the developer noticed 40 pictures they were processing  allegedly depicted children who were blindfolded and sometimes gagged. The pictures allegedly showed children who had insects (cockroaches) on their faces.  If that wasn’t bad enough, the photos also allegedly revealed children being fed fluid from a plastic spoon or being given a cookie to eat.  The cookies were allegedly covered in a similar-looking fluid.

The investigation revealed the mysterious fluid in the plastic spoon and on the cookie was actually bodily fluids, (semen) allegedly from the teacher.  This teacher taught at the school for over 30 years!  At this time, the investigation has revealed 23 alleged victims ages six to ten covering the period between 2005 and 2010. 

Even for unflappable Los Angeles, this is a highly disturbing story.  But it gets worse.  The teacher accused of these crimes was arrested last Monday.  On last Friday, a second teacher was arrested at the same school for allegedly committing lewd acts with a child.  At this time, it doesn’t appear the two cases are related.  

In the second situation, two students came forward alleging their teacher had fondled them in the classroom.  I saw one news story where one of the girls had allegedly been molested by both teachers. 

So, now you have a little background…which brings me to the true point of my blog today. As parents, it is imperative that you talk to your children about inappropriate behavior by anyone.  Because, sadly, the fact today is that a molester can be anyone.  

Parents, it’s up to you to teach your children about boundaries and about what is acceptable behavior and what is not.  And don’t think just because you’ve talked to your kids once that’s enough.  There are molesters out there who ‘specialize’ in different ages of children, so your child is vulnerable at any age.

I know my mother talked to me on numerous occasions about different dangerous scenarios I might find myself in and how I’d respond.  By bringing up things that might possibly happen to me (and I’m betting her examples were from local news stories) it allowed us to discuss how I could protect myself from such situations and what to do, if despite my best efforts, I was in danger.

While it sounds dark and ominous and like a real kill-joy to time spent with your child, I didn’t view it in that light.  I felt better prepared, when at age 13, a man pulled up next to me and wanted me to get into his car.

You don’t have to spend an hour each day lecturing your kids…but you do need to open that line of communication and get your children to realize there are bad people in the world who may try to prey on them.  How many times do you ask your kids what they did at school today and they say something like: “The same old thing.  Nothin’.”  And, because you’ve got twenty other things on your mind, you’re satisfied with that answer.

Apparently, in the first situation, the teacher had allegedly told the students they were playing a game and many of the kids didn’t think this type of behavior was odd or unusual. Now, imagine this…You pick your child up from school and ask them what they did that day.  They tell you their teacher blindfolded them and gagged them and took pictures of them with bugs on their faces.  Wouldn’t this set off alarm bells in your mind?  You bet it would.  And this is what I’m trying to get you to see.  You’ve got to, not only talk to your children, but engage with them.  Get them to open up – no easy feat, I know.

As a parent, it’s easy to think, My Johnny (or Sally) is too smart to be taken in by some pervert.  Don’t fool yourself!  With the advent of the internet, many of these creeps share information about how and where to find victims.  They discuss what works and what doesn’t.  They also discuss how to get children to not alert their parents of what’s going on. These sickos live and breathe for their next opportunity to victimize a child.  Don’t let it be your child.  Talk to your kids about boundaries.  Let your children know you will believe them if they come to you if they are victimized – no matter who the suspect is.  

I know you’re busy.  I know it’s uncomfortable.  But if you aren’t willing to put in the time with your children, there are plenty of molesters who are.

Until next time…

KMA367 

Last Minute Gift Ideas

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You know, there are thousands of people beginning to have mini-meltdowns because we’re rocketing through the last week before Christmas and they haven’t found ‘that perfect gift’ for their loved one. Giving gifts can be tricky and treacherous.   

Usually, the men on my list are the hardest to shop for.  My husband has everything, (he’s got me – right?) so, if he doesn’t offer up some suggestion as to what he’d like for Christmas, I’m stumped.  Even if he does give me a list of what he wants, I always like to have a ‘surprise’ gift for him.  Something he wasn’t expecting – and yet have it be something cool. 

For example: Take the year we’d gotten engaged a few months before Christmas.  I think that was the year he wanted a 20 oz. Sears Craftsman claw hammer.

I got him the hammer, but that Christmas I also gave him a wedding ring.  I wanted him to know I was really serious when I said ‘yes’ when he asked me to marry him.  Oh, and believe me – he WAS surprised by the wedding ring.

Throughout the years, I’ve noticed another trend with my holiday shopping.  It seems that every year there is one person in my family that I can find the ‘perfect’ gift without even trying.  In Walgreens?  I see the perfect gadget.  In Barnes and Noble?  I see the perfect book.  In Macy’s?  I see the exact *fill in the blank* they wanted. 

This year, it was Bucky the dog who might have been the recipient of gifts galore – but I have to be fair to all our ‘children,’ so Bucky only got one item – just like D.J., Wyatt, Tabby and Baillie.  But I could have bought Bucky about five different doggie delights.  Everywhere I turned there were goodies that would be perfect for Bucky.

Then there is the emergency gift.  You know – one thing you buy just in case someone surprises you with a gift and you’re not prepared.  Usually, I’ve got several boxes of See’s Candies stashed away just for the ‘emergency gift’ purpose.  But I also intentionally buy See’s Candies as real gifts too.  

I also have bottles of wine stashed for emergency gift purposes, but as many of you mentioned in response to last week’s blog, one of the best antidotes for holiday stress is alcohol…so the wine is usually gone before it’s needed as an emergency gift.

So how about you?  What trials and tribulations do you suffer with your holiday shopping?  How do you find the ‘perfect’ gift?  Do you have emergency gifts?  If so, what are they…I have a tendency to drink the ‘emergency wine,’ and eat the ‘emergency See’s candy.’  I’m looking for something that might actually make it to a gift recipient and stay off my hips.

I truly want your gift ideas, but out of respect to my readers, please don’t promote your book, your friend’s book or any book – it goes without saying that all my writer visitors think one of the best gifts ever is a book.  Thanks!

Until next time,

KMA 367 

Holiday Stress…How Do You Cope?

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If you’d asked me about a week ago, I would have told you I had my holiday season well under control.  I had a majority of my Christmas shopping done, my house was decorated, and I felt on top of things.  In the past week it seems I’ve been falling further and further behind.

                   

Suddenly, Christmas is less than two weeks away.  I still haven’t picked up those last presents, there is wrapping to do and holiday cards to get mailed.  I have a multitude of errands to run and, frankly, I’m exhausted just typing my ‘to do’ list in this blog.  (Please note I’m not even talking about my writing!)

I could go on and on, but you probably get where I’m coming from.  In fact, you may be feeling that way too. 

So, what I want to know is:  Do you have any favorite ‘let’s make the holiday season easier’ tips you’d be willing to share?

 

I’ll even start – although you can see from this post how well my methods are working.

My tip is to make lists.  I’m a big list maker and sometimes they even work.  I usually can get a couple of items crossed off the list, but by the end of the day I’ve added several more!

Now it’s your turn…

KMA 367