Category Archives: Elderly

Your Resolution Progress – Reality Check

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We’ll we’re about to finish up January – the first month of 2013. Seems like yesterday I was contemplating my resolutions for the New Year. Did you make any resolutions? Have you stuck with them?

 I didn’t write any down, but they tend to be the same from year to year. Usually my list looks something like this: 

  1. Eat better
  2. Lose weight
  3. Exercise more
  4. Write more
  5. Spend more time with the family
  6. Blog
  7. Etc.
  8. Etc.

I suspect the top three things on my list mirror many other people’s pledges. But the fact is, in the past, I’ve usually fallen off the resolution bandwagon by this time each year.

However, this time was a little different. I’d been doing pretty well with my resolutions until I got the flu about ten days ago. I’m recovering and anticipate getting back to my resolutions this week. I hope I can regain my momentum.

But what about you? How are you doing with keeping your New Year’s resolutions?

Did you promise yourself you’d eat better and exercise more?

Are you finding excuses to not get off your fanny and work out? Let me introduce you to a group of people who exercise six days a week, every week, every year. In fact, they are so excited about getting their workout in, most of these people show about a half-hour prior to the class so they can sit in their favorite chairs. 

Who are these over-anxious exercisers? Residents of Vintage Simi Hills Assisted Living. Many of the class participants come to the class utilizing their walkers, wheelchairs or electric scooters. For some of them, it’s quite an effort just to transfer from their mobility aid into their exercise chair.

The group is generally about twenty to twenty-five people on any given day. Sometimes they miss class because they have doctor’s appointments, or maybe have family visiting.

There are two centenarians in the group. (A centenarian is someone who is 100 years old.) There are at least a half-dozen folks in their nineties. In fact, I’d be surprised to find anyone in the group who isn’t over seventy years old. Their age doesn’t matter, because what they bring to the class is enthusiasm.

The classes are conducted while sitting and the number one rule of the class is that no one does more than they feel they can – no one is to get hurt. We start out with deep breathing and the some stretching. Then each participant picks an exercise they like to do and we all do that exercise.

Elvera likes shoulder shrugs, Esther likes to stretch her neck, Shirley likes to do arm circles. Lest you think the class is filled only with women, Chris likes to do boxing moves and Andy favors any exercise that hasn’t already been done. Andy’s wife Belva likes us to rotate our ankles and if Belva doesn’t choose that exercise, Judith does.

I’m kept on my toes by Mim who sets me straight if I forget what count I’m on. Angie, likes to work her arms, while Rosemary has us swim using four different kinds of strokes. Helen gets her inner firefighter on by having us climb the ladder, and my own Mom wants us to get down doing the funky chicken.

Mary Jane a former pro ice skater leads us on a bike ride, and Enoy gets us ready for the NBA by practicing our dribbling skills. Renee is our ambivalent exerciser and usually lets me choose an exercise for her. Never ambivalent and always ready to go is Sadie.

One of our main cheerleaders during the class is Betty who encourages us to, “Use it or you’ll lose it.” Ellie fights arthritis by having us look over our shoulders – first one side then the other. Vi has us stretch our backs and we should all be as limber as she is!

Ruth likes to do what we call scissor arms crossing our arms in front of our bodies much in the fashion of scissors. Amelia encourages us to take deep breaths and fill our lungs with air. Doris exercises from her motorized wheel chair. Elizabeth exercises wearing a protective boot on her ankle. Ennes with her lovely accent keeps things lively.

Bonnie recently joined our group and goes with the flow. Another new addition is Helen who has visited us several times. Leia has sat in with a couple of times as well. At the end of each class the group shoots balls into a couple of baskets…Watch out Lakers – this team is good!

I’ve volunteered to lead their classes two days a week and those classes are definite highlights in my week. On the other days of the week, this group works out with light dumbbells and exercise bands with Eileen, practices Yoga mid-week, and exercises with Flo and Vanna on the other days.

All these seniors exercise with different levels of mobility and physical and mental capabilities. If they can exercise six days a week for 30-45 minutes…why can’t you?

Until next time,

KMA367

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Elders Flourish in Follies…With Finesse

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My mom is in her late eighties.  When it comes to giving her gifts, it can be a challenge.  So, this past Christmas, I bought tickets for her and I to go to a live stage show in Palm Springs.  There is something remarkable about this show, which I’ll divulge in just a second.

 

The show is called the Palm Springs Follies and they are celebrating their 21st season.  Mom and I have both seen the show before.  In fact, mom introduced me to the follies about ten years ago when made the trek to the low desert with her retiree’s club.  We’ve been back twice since then.

 

The Follies is housed in the Plaza Theater in the heart of Palm Springs.  It’s a cozy venue, with the appearance of a 1940’s movie theater (complete with balcony section) with hints of a nightclub thrown in.  As guests file into the theater, television commercials from the 1950’s and 1960’s play on a big screen.

 

It’s hard to miss the fact that the audience for this show is a senior crowd.   Oh, there are a few younger faces in the mix – and by younger, I mean folks in their 40’s and 50’s.  But there is a reason for this. 

 

The show is not only tailored for an audience made of an ‘older’ majority, but the entertainers are well into their 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and 80’s!  Yes, you read that right…singers and dancers from their mid-fifties up into their eighties.

Initially, the idea of watching septuagenarian and octogenarians showgirls might instill visions of flabby-skinned, wrinkled, osteoporosis-bent, women in faded feathers and sequins.  Let me assure you, this is NOT the case.  In fact, the first time I saw the show, I didn’t believe the age of the performers.  The singers and dancers in this show have better bodies, more energy, and more life in them than many twenty and thirty-year olds I know.

 

Every season there is a theme to the show.  One year I attended, it was Get Your Kicks on Route 66.  This year’s theme is, Hot, Hot, Hot!  The first scene included well-known summertime songs: Surfin’ USA, Under the Boardwalk, Summer in the City, to name a few.  Singers and dancers sang, gyrated, and tapped their way in stupendous costumes across the stage.

 

Scene two was an ‘honor roll’ of the beautiful women who grace the stage.  Their male counterparts, each in tux’s with tails, lead each female performer across the stage.  The women wore traditional Las Vegas-type showgirl costumes with huge, lush headdresses.  It wouldn’t be an easy feat for a woman in her twenties – much less her seventies.

 

In this scene each performer tells a little about their life and how they came to wind up in the Plaza Theater in Palm Springs.  At the end of their recitation, they proudly announce their age…and gasps from the audience can be heard throughout the theater.

 

But there is even more to this show.  Each time I’ve come to the Follies, a talented ventriloquist has handled the third scene.  This show it was Brad Cummings and his smart-aleck dinosaur.  I’ve always found the ventriloquists to be entertaining and a pleasurable break in the action.

 

The second act of the show opened with favorite songs from various eras and featured the cast singing and dancing to Stepping Out With My Baby, Two Darn Hot, Rock and Roll Music, Tutti Frutti and more.  The cast comes out strong and vivacious in every number and has never disappointed.

 

Scene two in the second act is usually handled by the guest star. In this case, the guest was Maureen McGovern probably most famous for singing the song, The Morning After from the movie, The Poseidon Adventure. I have to tell you that I’ve known Ms. McGovern’s music, but I think all these years she has been highly under-rated!  I was blown away by her performance and the strength and versatility of her voice.  Frankly, I would have paid the price of the ticket for the whole show just to see her.  Bravo, Ms. McGovern, bravo!

 

The last scene in each performance is a patriotic extravaganza where the cast sings and dances while saluting our great country.  In this version, the veterans in the audience were asked to stand for recognition while their particular branch of service was honored.  My mother was proud to stand along with other men and women who have served our country. It’s a crowd-pleasing way to end the show.  But wait…I’ve saved the best for last.

 

In every show of this type, there has to be a guide, a leader, to stitch the scenes together with clever banter.  The ‘king’ of the Palm Springs Follies is none other than their Managing Director and Producer, Riff Markowitz.  While probably not a household name, Markowitz has been in show business for 60 years. I can’t vouch for his earlier accomplishments, but in the Palm Springs Follies, Markowitz can’t be touched. His sometimes un-politically correct humor is embraced by the audience. If you’re sitting in the first couple of rows in the theater, you may find yourself the target of zingers…and the unprepared participants and the audience love it!

 

So, if you can’t tell, I love this show. If you’re coming to Southern California and can afford $50 – $93 dollars for a show that lasts approximately two hours and forty-five minutes (with one intermission), I encourage you to give the follies a try.  I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.  Because of the heat during the summer months, I believe the Follies season runs from September to May.  If you’re interested, you can visit their site at http://www.psfollies.com/

 

 

 

Until next time,

KMA367

Taking Off the Uniform – A Year Later

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I’m writing this article on February 22nd.  It’s a beautiful Southern California day with temperatures expected to hit the low eighties.  I can tell you that February 22, 2011, was also a beautiful day.  The sun was shining and there was a light breeze in the air.

Now you’re probably wondering if I’m a living almanac.  I’m not.  On this date last year, it was a Tuesday and my last day of working for the LAPD.  My co-workers threw me a fabulous BBQ.  My retirement wasn’t official until February 26th, but that BBQ was my last day at Devonshire Station.  Oh, I snuck back in and did my last Basic Car meeting on Wednesday, but I was in plain clothes and it was more of a party than a meeting.

If I had to describe my retirement in one word, I’d say: hectic.

One of the main reasons I retired was because my mother had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.  I spent most of March taking Mom to various doctors for various issues.  I’ve been driving over 70 miles three times a week to spend time with her.  

I also needed to catch up on my own periodic doctor appointments.  Some of those doctor visits were in relation to the back injury I’d suffered in an on-duty traffic collision. 

In addition, I began to get phone calls from friends who all wanted to have lunch, since I had ‘nothing but time on my hands.’ I didn’t want to burst their bubble about what retirement is all about, so I went.

I’d already made my decision to self-publish my debut novel and was working with a cover designer to get the cover ready. I also took an online class to learn how to make a book trailer (much like a movie trailer) for my book.  I also tried to learn how to format my manuscript for e-reading devices (Kindle, Nook, etc.)  I joined two other writing groups and started reading up on how to promote my book and myself.

June was a huge month for me.  I launched my book on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.  My second career had begun!  But it wasn’t just the book launch that made the month special.  I also had been approved for an epidural shot to help ease the pain in my back.  I had that procedure done in mid-June.

The month of July was a blur to me.  I spent as long hours at my computer self-promoting my book by requesting reviews from book reviewers and book bloggers.  I attended the Public Safety Writer’s Association yearly conference in Las Vegas as a speaker.  The only problem was, that I’d arrived a few days early and, by the time the conference rolled around I was seriously ill and had to go home.  What a way to make a good impression.  Thankfully, to my knowledge, no one else got sick. 

In August, my book ‘took off’ on the Barnes and Noble website and I was in their Top 100 of all their books being sold.  It wasn’t long and I hit the Top 100 at Amazon as well.  This was another month of heavy book promotion.  You have no idea how many book-related websites there are on the Internet!

However, August was also a sad month too.  Over the few months I’d been stopping in three times a week to care for Mom, I’d come to realize that Mom’s condition was way more advanced than either my sister or I realized.  We came to the conclusion Mom would have to go into an assisted living facility. 

The arrangements were made to get Mom moved and comfortable in her new place.  I spent the first two days with her to help her get oriented and continue to visit her three times a week. None-the-less, it was one of the hardest decisions my sister and I had ever made.

In September, I taught an online writing class.  It was also time for Mom’s scheduled visits to her doctors and I was still seeing a group of doctors regarding my back.  Oh, and have I said that during this whole time I was revising my second book, A Deadly Blessing?

October found me teaching another on-line writing class and taking Saturday’s to go cheer at my granddaughter’s soccer games.  I was still revising my next book and began working with new website designers to give my website a facelift.

I was still spending about six hours a day self-promoting my book in November.  I guess I should clarify here that when I say self-promoting, I was also reading the tons of articles to keep abreast of the vast changes in the writing scene.  I also ‘ran away’ for a few days to a hotel where I could lay out the 300+ pages of my revised book and see how it all was flowing.

I don’t really need to say anything about December.  It was the holiday season, filled with more events, obligations and merriment than usual.

The first of this year has been spent revising and editing A Deadly Blessing and I’m keeping my fingers crossed it comes out in March. The manuscript is in the hands of beta readers right now.

But what about my former life?  My life as a cop.  What about that?  It doesn’t happen often, (mostly because I dot have time to think about it), But sometimes I ache to be driving the black and white and wearing my uniform and badge. I’ll see LAPD officers on a traffic stop, but now, instead of being their back-up, I’m a typical rubbernecker.  Driving to where my mom lives for a visit, I’ll see the LAPD helicopter racing to a call somewhere or orbiting over a ‘hot’ call.  I want so badly to know what’s going on and to be ‘in’ on the action. 

I wanted to find a way to cope with those feelings.  So, when I see police activity that tugs at my memories, I try to think of possible circumstances of the incident that I can turn into a scene in a future book.  Admittedly, it doesn’t always cure the melancholy, but it leads to some really interesting pages on my computer.

Until next time,

 

KMA367       

 

A New Scam – Fake Grandkids

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The phone rings and you answer it.

“Grandma?  It’s your granddaughter, Cindy.”

Delighted that your teenaged granddaughter who lives out of state is calling, you’re happy to hear from her.  “Hello, Cindy.  How nice to hear from you.”

Cindy’s voice takes on a somber tone.  “Grandma, I’m in trouble.  I went on a school trip in the Caribbean with my friends.  We were goofing around and I had too much too drink.  I got arrested for being drunk in public and now the court says I have to pay a fine of $1000 or they won’t let me out of jail.”

You’re dismayed your sweet little granddaughter was arrested – and for public intoxication!  You wonder why she is calling you.  “Well, dear I think you need to talk to your mother and father about this.  They’ll know what to do.”

“No Grandma!  I can’t tell them about this.  Mom and Dad will kill me, and they’ll never let me go anywhere again.  I was hoping maybe you could wire me the money.  You mustn’t tell anyone – not Mom, Dad and not Grandpa Mark either!  I was hoping it would be our little secret; and I promise; I’ll pay you back every dime.  I’ve got a job at McDonalds, so I can pay you back.”

Poor little Cindy sounds so desperate, and what kid hasn’t gotten into a little trouble?  Besides, you can’t stand to think of your precious granddaughter stuck in some jail.  “Well, I don’t know, dear; I’ve never kept anything from your Grandpa; and that’s a lot of money.”

“Pleeeease Grandma?  It’s really dirty here and the food has bugs in it.”

You sigh.  “Okay Cindy, I don’t like it, but I’ll do it.  What do I have to do?”

Then Cindy gives you very detailed directions on how to wire the $1000 to the court.  “Remember     Grandma,” she warns, “you can’t tell anyone about this!”

 With a heavy heart you follow the directions and wire the money to an unknown location in the       Caribbean.

Congratulations!  You’ve probably just been the victim of one of the latest scams being used against the elderly.

You see, slim-ball crooks have learned that the elderly are easily fooled by a young voice claiming to be the grandchild of the senior citizen…especially when those grandkids live out of state and, most likely, aren’t seen too often in person.

But how do the crooks know whether or not a senior has grandchildren?  We’re giving the information to the bad guys ourselves via the internet.  Many of the larger social networking sites are perfect hunting grounds where criminals can find pictures or search profiles of grandchildren so they know the child’s age and sex.


Phone numbers are easily accessible as well.  Have you ever done a Zabasearch of yourself at Zabasearch.com?  Do like genealogy?  What information do you enter into those sites to round out your family tree?   It’s disturbing to find what kind of information is available about you via the internet to everyone in the world.

The key to this scam is the secrecy element.  The ‘child’ in trouble begs their ‘grandparent’ to not contact their parents or anyone in the family.  Why?  If the grandmother in this scenario contacted Cindy’s parents and said, “I understand Cindy is on a school trip in the Carribbean.”  The whole scam would fall apart because the mother would probably say something like, “What are you talking about?  Cindy is sitting in the family room playing video games on the TV.”

Worse yet, our elderly citizens who DO fall victim of this and other scams often don’t come forward because they’re embarrassed they got swindled.

Knowledge is power.  Talk to the seniors you know.  Tell them this story.  Be sure they understand that the criminal element has figured out that senior citizens are excellent targets for all kinds of scams – and this is just one of them.

Until next time;

KMA367

Kathy Bennett Reports On: Domestic Violence

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One of the most common types of calls police officers respond to is domestic violence.  I can’t tell you how many times a woman with obvious physical injuries will proclaim her love for her abuser and how he did mean to hurt her…or worse yet, she’ll deny her abuser caused the injuries.


October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I guarantee that you know someone who is being abused – you just may not know it.

Let’s start with what domestic violence is.


Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over          another person with whom an intimate relationship is or has been shared through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence. Domestic violence happens when one person believes that they are entitled to control another.


Domestic violence may include not only the intimate partner relationships of spousal, live-in partners and dating relationships, but can also include familial, elder and child abuse in a violent home. Abuse generally falls into one or more of the following categories: physical battering, sexual assault and emotional or psychological abuse, and generally escalates over a period of time.

Here are some of the indicators of domestic violence.


Victims of abuse may experience punched walls, control of finances, lying, using children to manipulate a parent’s emotions, intimidation, isolation from family and friends, fear, shame, criticism, cuts, crying and afraid children, broken bones, confusion, forced sexual contact, manipulation, sexist comments, yelling, rages, craziness, harassment, neglect, shoving, screaming, jealousy and possessiveness, loss of self esteem, coercion, slammed doors, abandonment, silent treatment, rape, destruction of personal property, unwanted touching, name calling, strangling, ripping, slapping, biting, kicking, bruises, punching, stalking, scrapes, depression, sabotaging attendance at job or school, brainwashing, violence to pets, pinching, deprivation of physical and economic resources, public humiliation, broken promises, prevention of seeking medical and dental care, ridicule, restraining, self-medication, forced tickling, threats to harm family and friends, threats to take away the children, threats to harm animals, threats of being kicked out, threats of weapons, threats of being killed.


That’s quite a list isn’t it?  And abusers usually use a number of these tactics to gain control of their victims…and they tend to pick the ones that they know will bring the biggest fear and distress as well.


Here’s the number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1 (800) 799-7233 and they can direct you to help in your area.  If you’d rather look at their site online, here’s the link http://www.thehotline.org/.  However, computers CAN be monitored, so if you suspect your abuser could be tracking your internet activity, find a way to call.


Domestic violence is serious business.  If you’re a victim, I know it’s scary and it’s not easy to admit you’re a victim, but get help.  You’ll be glad you did.


Until next time,


KMA367

Kathy Says: Protect the Elderly From Burglary

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A topic I frequently address in the scope of my job as a police officer, is the vulnerability of the elderly. While you might not think the subject applies to you now, it will someday. Let’s face it – like it or not, we all get old.

Here is a scam frequently used to take advantage of our senior citizens.

DISTRACTION BURGLARIES: Usually this scam involves two or more people. One person will go to the door of a senior citizen and use a ruse to have the elderly person let them into their home. Often this scam will have the crook dressing in some type of uniform or carrying a clipboard and requesting to go to the rear yard to conduct some kind of test, or take some measurements. They may even have a tape measure with them or wear a hardhat to look more official.

When the senior lets the ‘workman’ (or woman) into their home, the crook unlocks the front door and then leads the elderly person (the victim) to the rear yard while an accomplice quickly goes through the house taking small items such as money, jewelry, cash, checks and credit cards.

This is one form of a distraction burglary. Another version is where a mother and child, or in some cases just a child, comes to the door wanting the victim to let them in the rear yard to look for a ball or kitten. Our senior citizens can’t imagine that a mother and child would be up to no good and let them into the house. Again, one party distracts the senior, while another goes through the house and takes items of value. As soon as the thief is done in the house, both parties leave and the poor senior might not realize for a day or two they’ve been burglarized.

There are other variations of a distraction burglary, but these are the two most common. Remember: If someone comes to your door and you’re not expecting them, be on your guard. If they want in your house, red flags should go off in your head. Don’t take what anyone tells you at face value. If they say they are from the water company or the phone company or any place of business, ask questions. Get a phone number where you can call and verify these people are conducting legitimate business.

In the case of someone wanting to take measurements, have them meet you at a side gate and let them in that way. If they need to find a ball or cat in the back yard, offer to go find the ball or cat yourself. Be sure, before you leave your home, all your doors are locked.

The elderly are susceptible to thieves for several reasons – mostly because often they aren’t good witnesses. Often they don’t remember hair color, or height. They can’t remember if the suspect had a car or if he/she had tattoos.

Another reason they’re targeted is because they may not realize for a very long time they’ve been victimized…or if they do, they are ashamed to tell anyone.

If you have a senior in your life or in your neighborhood, it’s the right thing to do to be extra vigilant in watching out for their wellbeing. If you see someone hanging around an elder’s house and it seems unusual, go over in a friendly way and see what’s going on. It might be Uncle Elmo visiting from Kansas, or it might be something more sinister – something you can easily determine by asking a few questions.

Unfortunately, we all get old, and even more unfortunately, there are criminals who will be seeking us out to victimize.

Until next time,

KMA 367

Just Because You Can – Should You?

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I’m going to focus on a touchy topic. It’s something I’ve recently had to deal with in my own life, and almost everyone will eventually have to confront these circumstances in one way or another. What I’m talking about is: When are you too old to drive?

This subject became reality for me when, at a doctor’s appointment with my eighty-seven year old mother, the doctor asked me if Mom was driving okay. The truth was, I hadn’t actually been a passenger while Mom was driving for a very long time. I had no idea.

By law, the doctor was required to request a Re-examination of Driver due to a condition for which my mother had been diagnosed. What that meant was that the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) wanted my mother to take the written examination and if she passed, they’d have her take the driving portion of the test.

Mom was not happy, and she certainly had a good argument. “In all the years I’ve been driving, I’ve never been in an accident, and I’ve never had a ticket. Why are they bothering me?”

As a daughter, I agreed with her. As a police officer, not so much. Every day, I witness unsafe driving. Most of the bad driving I see is when I’m in my personal vehicle. When a black and white police car is in the vicinity, people have a tendency to be on their best driving behavior. It’s not so much that I worried about my Mom’s driving; I was more worried about the drivers around her.

I knew that while on the road, Mom wasn’t intentionally speeding or making unsafe lane changes. But I also knew that her reaction time was considerably slower than most other drivers on the road. Because it had been so long since my mother had driven me anywhere, I asked her to drive while we ran a couple of errands.

There were a few things that caused me concern. She liked to do a ‘California stop’ at posted stop signs. A California stop is when the driver slows considerably at the stop sign, but fails to come to a complete stop. (And for the record, your wheels must come to a complete stop at a stop sign.) When driving on residential streets, Mom liked to hug the right curb – to the point it made me nervous she might weave a little and take off a parked car’s side mirror. When I mentioned these things to her, she didn’t think they were that big of a deal.

Mom was determined to take the re-examination tests and prove the doctor, the DMV, and me wrong. So she took her written test and passed. Then came the time for the driving test. The examiner was very nice, and things looked like they started well when Mom was able to demonstrate she knew how to operate her turn signals, windshield wipers, and horn. Then the man got in the passenger seat, and they were off!

When they returned, Mom appeared to be happy with her performance, and the examiner didn’t look traumatized. The daughter in me was cheering for my Mom. The cop in me was thinking to myself: How long will the state let Mom drive?

The question was answered when I learned my Mom had failed her driving test. Once we got home, we reviewed the examiner’s notes. The ‘fatal’ mistake had been pulling away from a curb without looking for on-coming traffic. The notes said an on-coming car had to brake in order to avoid a collision.

“That didn’t happen,” my mother said. “I didn’t see any car when I pulled away from that curb.” I gently told her, that was the point.

My sister and I had already decided between the two of us, we’d be able to take Mom anywhere she needed to go. Convincing Mom this was a good idea was a whole other matter.

Now, months later, I think Mom accepts being chauffeured around. But every now and then, she’ll say to me, “You know, I can still drive. I’m a good driver. I’ve never been in an accident, and I’ve never had a ticket.”

And you know what? When I see the crazy driver’s on the road and their antics, I can’t disagree. But my sister and I still sold Mom’s car.

Until next time…

KMA367