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Your Resolution Progress – Reality Check

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We’ll we’re about to finish up January – the first month of 2013. Seems like yesterday I was contemplating my resolutions for the New Year. Did you make any resolutions? Have you stuck with them?

 I didn’t write any down, but they tend to be the same from year to year. Usually my list looks something like this: 

  1. Eat better
  2. Lose weight
  3. Exercise more
  4. Write more
  5. Spend more time with the family
  6. Blog
  7. Etc.
  8. Etc.

I suspect the top three things on my list mirror many other people’s pledges. But the fact is, in the past, I’ve usually fallen off the resolution bandwagon by this time each year.

However, this time was a little different. I’d been doing pretty well with my resolutions until I got the flu about ten days ago. I’m recovering and anticipate getting back to my resolutions this week. I hope I can regain my momentum.

But what about you? How are you doing with keeping your New Year’s resolutions?

Did you promise yourself you’d eat better and exercise more?

Are you finding excuses to not get off your fanny and work out? Let me introduce you to a group of people who exercise six days a week, every week, every year. In fact, they are so excited about getting their workout in, most of these people show about a half-hour prior to the class so they can sit in their favorite chairs. 

Who are these over-anxious exercisers? Residents of Vintage Simi Hills Assisted Living. Many of the class participants come to the class utilizing their walkers, wheelchairs or electric scooters. For some of them, it’s quite an effort just to transfer from their mobility aid into their exercise chair.

The group is generally about twenty to twenty-five people on any given day. Sometimes they miss class because they have doctor’s appointments, or maybe have family visiting.

There are two centenarians in the group. (A centenarian is someone who is 100 years old.) There are at least a half-dozen folks in their nineties. In fact, I’d be surprised to find anyone in the group who isn’t over seventy years old. Their age doesn’t matter, because what they bring to the class is enthusiasm.

The classes are conducted while sitting and the number one rule of the class is that no one does more than they feel they can – no one is to get hurt. We start out with deep breathing and the some stretching. Then each participant picks an exercise they like to do and we all do that exercise.

Elvera likes shoulder shrugs, Esther likes to stretch her neck, Shirley likes to do arm circles. Lest you think the class is filled only with women, Chris likes to do boxing moves and Andy favors any exercise that hasn’t already been done. Andy’s wife Belva likes us to rotate our ankles and if Belva doesn’t choose that exercise, Judith does.

I’m kept on my toes by Mim who sets me straight if I forget what count I’m on. Angie, likes to work her arms, while Rosemary has us swim using four different kinds of strokes. Helen gets her inner firefighter on by having us climb the ladder, and my own Mom wants us to get down doing the funky chicken.

Mary Jane a former pro ice skater leads us on a bike ride, and Enoy gets us ready for the NBA by practicing our dribbling skills. Renee is our ambivalent exerciser and usually lets me choose an exercise for her. Never ambivalent and always ready to go is Sadie.

One of our main cheerleaders during the class is Betty who encourages us to, “Use it or you’ll lose it.” Ellie fights arthritis by having us look over our shoulders – first one side then the other. Vi has us stretch our backs and we should all be as limber as she is!

Ruth likes to do what we call scissor arms crossing our arms in front of our bodies much in the fashion of scissors. Amelia encourages us to take deep breaths and fill our lungs with air. Doris exercises from her motorized wheel chair. Elizabeth exercises wearing a protective boot on her ankle. Ennes with her lovely accent keeps things lively.

Bonnie recently joined our group and goes with the flow. Another new addition is Helen who has visited us several times. Leia has sat in with a couple of times as well. At the end of each class the group shoots balls into a couple of baskets…Watch out Lakers – this team is good!

I’ve volunteered to lead their classes two days a week and those classes are definite highlights in my week. On the other days of the week, this group works out with light dumbbells and exercise bands with Eileen, practices Yoga mid-week, and exercises with Flo and Vanna on the other days.

All these seniors exercise with different levels of mobility and physical and mental capabilities. If they can exercise six days a week for 30-45 minutes…why can’t you?

Until next time,

KMA367

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do You Come Here Often?

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Do you go to the movies by yourself?

What about a restaurant?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How about a bar?  

Do you do one of those activities by yourself, but not the others? Which one is it, and why are you okay with doing that one endeavor alone? 

Are you fine with doing two of those options as a single, but won’t undertake the other alone? Which one? Why?

Do you refuse to do any of those activities alone? Why?

Are comfortable doing all those things by yourself? Why?

I ask, because I don’t understand the fear, or the stigma attached with doing any of those things alone. I’ve done all of those things alone – and I’m fine with it. (Can you see why writing is a good career for me?)

A few days ago, couple of friends and I were talking, and the subject of a female going into a bar alone came up.  We were actually talking about Las Vegas and I said I didn’t have a problem going into a bar in Las Vegas or anywhere else by myself. I don’t do it often, but I’ve certainly done it. (And no, I was not alone when this picture was taken. My husband was with me.)

I think both of my friends were a little shocked. I think the general thought process was that if a female goes into a bar alone, there is a perception she is there looking to get picked up. I guess I’m kind of surprised (and feel a little naïve) that, after all these years, the trampy barfly concept is still alive and well. Who knew?

I’m of the opinion that a person who is in a bar to hook up sends out a completely different vibe than someone who isn’t. I also think it’s fairly easy, if you are approached when you’re out alone, to make it clear you’re not looking for a ‘date.’ 

What are your experiences…thoughts?

KMA 367

 

 

 

 

 

Drastic Measures Must Be Taken

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I’ve been retired from the LAPD for about eighteen months now, and I often get asked how I like retirement. The standard answer I give is that I like retirement just fine, however…I’m working harder now than when I was working a full-time job.

I won’t bore you with the many tasks that take up my days and my nights. But, I will say if you think writers sit in front of their computers and dash off ten pages of a novel, then answer hundreds of fan letters, promote their books on television talk shows, and then go sit by the pool eating bonbons and drinking champagne, you’d be sadly mistaken. At least most of us don’t.

My ‘to-do’ lists often have sub- ‘to-do’ lists. It’s not unusual for me to have a numbered list of maybe ten things to get done during one day. However, as the day progresses, I find I’m adding things to the list – or stapling an additional list to the bottom of the first one.

Because I’ve been lucky enough to gain a following with my first two books, I feel pressure to get my next book out there. But I have to find more hours in the day to make that happen. So…

Drastic measures must be taken.

If you know me or you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know that I’m a big fan of reality television. Until I started to list the shows I regularly watch, I didn’t quite realize how much time my TV habit was taking out of my day – and it’s not just the reality shows.

Here is a listing of the shows I like to watch. They aren’t all on during the same time of year, so I’m not necessarily watching all of these shows every week.

American Idol
Dancing With the Stars
The Amazing Race
America’s Next Top Model
Big Brother
The Bachelor/The Bachelorette
Bachelor Pad (Yes, I’m hanging my head in shame)
Survivor
The Glass House (This was the first season of this show. I’ve only continued to watch because one of the players is a cop. I hope he wins.)

Then there are the non-reality shows I watch.

Southland
Dallas
Longmire
Shark Tank

Then there are the shows I sometimes watch when I happen to be flipping channels.

House Hunters
Storage Wars
Pawn Stars
Say Yes to the Dress
Keeping Up With the Kardasians ( I can hardly look at my screen while I type this. Watching these folks is a very guilty pleasure.)

Then there are the daily news shows.

KTLA Channel 5 (Mornings – sometimes for hours!)
KCBS Channel 2 (Usually 5:00 p.m.)

Most of the shows I save on the DVR so I can watch when it’s convenient and so I can zip through the commercials. But with my reality shows it’s tricky because if I’m not careful someone on Facebook or Yahoo will post the ‘dramatic’ results before I get a chance to watch the show.

Clearly, I need to cut down my list AND how much TV I’m watching.

Let’s start with the news. I can easily cut down in the morning. I don’t have to watch two or three hours of news to see what’s gone on overnight. I can probably par that down to about a half hour. Same goes for the evening broadcast.

The shows I sometimes watch I need to cut out completely – unless I’ve written my word/page count for the day. And then I should only watch them while I’m cleaning or something else where I can multi task. And to be fair, usually I’m watching these shows while I’m having lunch or dinner.

As for my non-reality shows I watch. This is where I’ll stand my ground. I don’t want to cut any of these shows. However, it makes no sense for me to be watching reruns of these shows, and sometimes I do. The endings don’t change.

But where I can make considerable impact on my time management is with my reality show viewing.

I’ve determined I’m only going to allow myself four – and one of those is on during the year when the other three are not. So, who will I be watching and who gets cut?

The four who made the cut are:

The Amazing Race
Survivor
The Bachelor/The Bachelorette
Big Brother

I’m sure I’ll find many more hours in the day if I can follow my new plan.

What about you? What are the shows you ‘must see?’ What are the shows you’re embarrassed to admit you watch? What television show could you give up easily?

Until next time,

KMA367

From the Little Sister’s Point of View

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I have many memories of my childhood, but some of the most poignant are regarding my sister, Susan. We’re eight years apart in age, (she’s older) but our actual birthday’s are only one week apart. Yesterday, she had a ‘milestone,’ birthday. Whoo hoo!

We may both be Leos on the astrological charts, but we couldn’t be more different. We don’t look alike, and we certainly don’t think alike, and our personalities are very dissimilar.

While I’ve always tried to be a people-pleaser, my sister is outspoken and, when I was younger, most of the time I thought of her as a rebel. As kids, those rebel inclinations would sometimes get her in trouble with our mother, who was the main disciplinarian in our household. But in my eyes, they made Sue seem daring and exciting. She did things I would never dream of doing – of course, I was younger and couldn’t even imagine some of her exploits. A quick example: Late at night, Sue used to sneak out her bedroom window to go outside and meet with…boys! I’m not sure how Mom learned about those late-night visits, but once she did, she put the kibosh on them.

It’s not surprising that my sister would be attracting members of the opposite sex. With her long naturally blonde hair, aquamarine eyes, and an easy laugh she was a beauty. I used to watch her getting ready for dates and wishing I were old enough to go on dates too.

And sometimes I did get to go on dates. I think our Mom thought if she sent me along on Sue’s dates, I was a quasi chaperone – even at age seven. Of course, back in those days, the movies didn’t have a rating system, and there were drive-ins where the price was set by the carload, so another person in the car didn’t cost the boy any extra money. What Mom didn’t know, was once we got to the drive-in, Sue and her date would put a blanket out on the ground in the parking space next to theirs and buy me candy so I’d lay on the blanket and watch the movie while they ‘watched’ it from the car. It’s a wonder I never got run over! But it was such a different time back then. Can you imagine telling a teenager today they had to take their little sister on their date with them? Ha!

Another thing about my sister was that she had the most beautiful clothes. In particular, I remember a blue lace semi-formal that made her look like a princess. I don’t remember where she wore it, but I do remember how pretty she looked. (I didn’t get to go on that date.) As I got older, sometimes I would get her hand-me-downs. When I was in junior high, Sue gave me a pair of pink Mary-Jane shoes that had thick stacked heels. I loved those shoes and had a dress that matched them perfectly. Unfortunately, as I continued to grow, I couldn’t fit into her size 5 shoes anymore.

Another vivid memory I have is playing hide and go seek with my friends. In the summer, all the kids would play in the street until it got dark. Well, on this summer evening, we were playing and I recognized a car coming down the street as belonging to a boyfriend my sister had just broken up with. To my shock, the boy drove his car right into the back of a car that was parked across the street! When the police came, (a HUGE deal on our street,) the boy said he was driving down our street trying to get a glimpse of my sister. He’d taken his eyes off the road and crashed. Ah, the price of young love.

But there have been times – although very few – where my sister and I were in sync, and totally agreed on something.

One of those times was when the decision was made that Mom’s Alzheimer’s disease had gotten to the point where it was no longer safe for Mom to live by herself. We made arrangements to move Mom to assisted living. We found a place that we both loved, but that still didn’t take away the guilt of moving Mom out of her home. What made it worse was that Mom refused to even discuss having other living arrangements. So, Sue and I formulated a plan where we’d take Mom to a movie and the rest of the family would move Mom’s belongings to her new assisted living facility while we were gone. Instead of taking Mom home, we’d be taking her to her new assisted living home.

On that day, both Sue and I were quite emotional, but couldn’t show it or Mom would wonder what was wrong. It’s one of the few times that Sue and I have been united in purpose and thought. We didn’t like the task at hand, but we knew it was necessary.

The movie we’d taken Mom to see was a highly acclaimed film, but I didn’t care for it. And to my surprise, as the three of us walked out to my car, Sue said, “I didn’t like that movie,“ and then stated her reasons for not liking it. And the reasons she didn’t like the movie were the very causes that the film was being celebrated. But in that particular case, it was as though she’d read my mind. She’d articulated my feelings about the movie perfectly.

Was it the emotion of the day that had us relating? Or…gasp…perhaps we’re more similar than we think.

KMA367

Spirit In The Sky

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As I write this article, my late brother Danny is on my mind. His birthday is next week. If he were alive, he’d be 66 years old. I miss him.

Danny was ten years older than me, and enlisted into the Marine Corps at age seventeen. When he came home on leave we’d find three, four, and sometimes even five marines sleeping on our family room floor. My Dad worked two jobs, one of them the graveyard shift at a machine shop. As long as he was able to get his sleep he didn’t mind the houseguests.

My no-nonsense mother handled the extra bodies with grace; although in private, Danny received a stern tongue-lashing. Mom worked full-time and weekends were her time to do all the laundry, shopping, cooking and cleaning for the week. It wasn’t in her plans to entertain a house full of Marines. Her frustration went unheeded because the next weekend another group of guys would be camped out in our home.

These young men came from all parts of the country and were polite, respectful, but mostly they were appreciative of my mother’s hospitality and cooking. As quickly as the Marines landed, by late Sunday morning they’d be gone.

Sometimes, my brother would come home alone. We never knew when he’d appear, and his homecomings were always filled with surprise and excitement.

One time he came home driving a brand new Pontiac – big deal in the early 1960′s. Another time he came home with a black and white puppy. Naturally, the care of the puppy fell to my mother because Danny couldn’t take the dog back on base with him. One time, at age seven, I was being chased in our backyard by a pair of mean roosters with sharp beaks. My screams brought my brother running barefoot and shirtless wielding a hoe to scare off the vicious foul.

My brother served 20 years in the Marine Corps being deployed three times to Vietnam. He married and had two sons. Unfortunately, the marriage didn’t work out.

Later in life, in his mid-fifties, Danny had a brain aneurysm that caused a massive stroke. He wasn’t expected to live. He was in a coma for six weeks. I would get up at three in the morning so that, before going to work, I could softly play his favorite western music in his ear. When he came out of the coma, he was partially paralyzed on his right side and had some memory loss and trouble speaking.

While many people might be bitter under the same circumstances, not Danny. He was always cheerful, funny and didn’t feel at all sorry for himself.

I became his primary caregiver although he was pretty well self-sufficient. Mostly, I took care of his finances. Danny was determined to be the best that he could be and took great pride in doing things for himself. He got a motorized scooter and was often seen zipping around Simi Valley, hanging out at the bowling alley or eating at his favorite restaurants.

Eventually he wanted to move to Carson City to be near his sons. I helped him find a house to rent and arranged for the move. About a year after he moved to Nevada, he suddenly developed pancreatitis. For eight weeks, he was gravely ill, and then sadly, Danny passed away. I was devastated.

One of the possessions I brought back from Danny’s house was a favorite of his – a clock that was equipped with a pendulum. When I packed it, I’d unhooked the pendulum and taped it inside the clock, then wrapped the whole thing in a towel. And yet, when I unwrapped the clock I couldn’t find the pendulum.

I searched my SUV, the towel and the clock. I couldn’t imagine what had happened to pendulum. I never did find it. Months passed. I took my vehicle to the carwash numerous times. Eventually, I decided to sell my car. At the dealership as I was about to turn the keys over to the salesman, I decided to take one more quick look to be sure I had everything out of the car.

I got in the driver’s seat and checked the center console then I twisted in my seat to look at the back seat of the SUV. There, after eight months, centered perfectly in the rear seat of my car was the pendulum for the clock.

I miss my brother, but I also know that even though I can’t see him, he’s always with me. Happy Birthday Danny. Semper Fi.

Elders Flourish in Follies…With Finesse

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My mom is in her late eighties.  When it comes to giving her gifts, it can be a challenge.  So, this past Christmas, I bought tickets for her and I to go to a live stage show in Palm Springs.  There is something remarkable about this show, which I’ll divulge in just a second.

 

The show is called the Palm Springs Follies and they are celebrating their 21st season.  Mom and I have both seen the show before.  In fact, mom introduced me to the follies about ten years ago when made the trek to the low desert with her retiree’s club.  We’ve been back twice since then.

 

The Follies is housed in the Plaza Theater in the heart of Palm Springs.  It’s a cozy venue, with the appearance of a 1940’s movie theater (complete with balcony section) with hints of a nightclub thrown in.  As guests file into the theater, television commercials from the 1950’s and 1960’s play on a big screen.

 

It’s hard to miss the fact that the audience for this show is a senior crowd.   Oh, there are a few younger faces in the mix – and by younger, I mean folks in their 40’s and 50’s.  But there is a reason for this. 

 

The show is not only tailored for an audience made of an ‘older’ majority, but the entertainers are well into their 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and 80’s!  Yes, you read that right…singers and dancers from their mid-fifties up into their eighties.

Initially, the idea of watching septuagenarian and octogenarians showgirls might instill visions of flabby-skinned, wrinkled, osteoporosis-bent, women in faded feathers and sequins.  Let me assure you, this is NOT the case.  In fact, the first time I saw the show, I didn’t believe the age of the performers.  The singers and dancers in this show have better bodies, more energy, and more life in them than many twenty and thirty-year olds I know.

 

Every season there is a theme to the show.  One year I attended, it was Get Your Kicks on Route 66.  This year’s theme is, Hot, Hot, Hot!  The first scene included well-known summertime songs: Surfin’ USA, Under the Boardwalk, Summer in the City, to name a few.  Singers and dancers sang, gyrated, and tapped their way in stupendous costumes across the stage.

 

Scene two was an ‘honor roll’ of the beautiful women who grace the stage.  Their male counterparts, each in tux’s with tails, lead each female performer across the stage.  The women wore traditional Las Vegas-type showgirl costumes with huge, lush headdresses.  It wouldn’t be an easy feat for a woman in her twenties – much less her seventies.

 

In this scene each performer tells a little about their life and how they came to wind up in the Plaza Theater in Palm Springs.  At the end of their recitation, they proudly announce their age…and gasps from the audience can be heard throughout the theater.

 

But there is even more to this show.  Each time I’ve come to the Follies, a talented ventriloquist has handled the third scene.  This show it was Brad Cummings and his smart-aleck dinosaur.  I’ve always found the ventriloquists to be entertaining and a pleasurable break in the action.

 

The second act of the show opened with favorite songs from various eras and featured the cast singing and dancing to Stepping Out With My Baby, Two Darn Hot, Rock and Roll Music, Tutti Frutti and more.  The cast comes out strong and vivacious in every number and has never disappointed.

 

Scene two in the second act is usually handled by the guest star. In this case, the guest was Maureen McGovern probably most famous for singing the song, The Morning After from the movie, The Poseidon Adventure. I have to tell you that I’ve known Ms. McGovern’s music, but I think all these years she has been highly under-rated!  I was blown away by her performance and the strength and versatility of her voice.  Frankly, I would have paid the price of the ticket for the whole show just to see her.  Bravo, Ms. McGovern, bravo!

 

The last scene in each performance is a patriotic extravaganza where the cast sings and dances while saluting our great country.  In this version, the veterans in the audience were asked to stand for recognition while their particular branch of service was honored.  My mother was proud to stand along with other men and women who have served our country. It’s a crowd-pleasing way to end the show.  But wait…I’ve saved the best for last.

 

In every show of this type, there has to be a guide, a leader, to stitch the scenes together with clever banter.  The ‘king’ of the Palm Springs Follies is none other than their Managing Director and Producer, Riff Markowitz.  While probably not a household name, Markowitz has been in show business for 60 years. I can’t vouch for his earlier accomplishments, but in the Palm Springs Follies, Markowitz can’t be touched. His sometimes un-politically correct humor is embraced by the audience. If you’re sitting in the first couple of rows in the theater, you may find yourself the target of zingers…and the unprepared participants and the audience love it!

 

So, if you can’t tell, I love this show. If you’re coming to Southern California and can afford $50 – $93 dollars for a show that lasts approximately two hours and forty-five minutes (with one intermission), I encourage you to give the follies a try.  I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.  Because of the heat during the summer months, I believe the Follies season runs from September to May.  If you’re interested, you can visit their site at http://www.psfollies.com/

 

 

 

Until next time,

KMA367

From Cop to Writer – Different But the Same

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One of the things an applicant for the Los Angeles Police Department has to do in the hiring process is to be interviewed.  In my day, there were two police sergeants and a civilian on each interview board, and part of their duty was to determine if a person ‘had the right mindset’ to be an LAPD officer.
I know that one of the first questions I was asked was: Why do you want to be a police officer?  My reply, in part, was about wanting to help people. Not surprisingly, ‘helping people’ is a very common thread in applicant replies to the question, about why a person wants to become a cop.
With my new career of writing stories, if I’d been asked why I wanted to write, my reply would have been: I want to entertain people while giving them a glimpse into the world of the LAPD.
Little did I know that my writing career would achieve the same result as my police career.  Through my writing I’ve touched someone. I’ve helped someone.
I got this letter from a young woman and I was so impacted by her story and her words I asked her if I could share them with you.  She agreed.
The lesson to writers: If you think what you write can’t or doesn’t make a difference…think again.
This is the actual letter by the young woman I’ll call, Miss H…
Reading is by far not my specialty. I’m about three grade levels under my own on reading skills. Sure I can read your average every day children’s book but anything over 100 pages puts my heart in shock. In other words, I don’t read much.  
When I bought my Barnes & Noble Nook Color, I for sure thought, “I just wasted a perfectly good 240 bucks!” 
See this is where I was wrong. I ran across your book, A Dozen Deadly Roses, one day while sitting on my couch listening to the bickering and arguing of my dysfunctional family.  
At first I just skimmed over it then I took a second look. I decided to buy the book and open a page or two to see if it was worth reading. My journey through your book began slow, to slow. Then something caught my eye, Jade.  
Shockingly, we have much in common; a remarkable, strong willed mother, filling her duties as a cop in everyday life. It was everything I dreamt of being.  
I felt a strong connection with her and Donnie. My father is an alcoholic, I knew exactly what Jade was going through.  
Although Jade became a new idol in my world, I felt myself many times screaming at her, “why won’t you tell Mac that he’s the father, why?!” Then I realized it was for the better. It opened my eyes to that you shouldn’t always do the expected but rather do what’s best in that situation for you and others involved.
I also love the fact that you use to be an actual LAPD cop. When I read that about you, my heart skipped a beat. I felt like I had even more of a connection with your book because for once a fiction book wasn’t so fiction anymore. Your book had more life in it; it wasn’t “just a book” anymore. I loved that.  
My desire to be a cop has been a dream of mine for a long time. However, my mom and others like to crush that dream. Jade gave me a lot of courage in reading this book. She showed me that I need to be brave and stand up in what I dream and love. Jade also gave me the strength in my heart that seemed so broken from others. She made a light shine in me like no one has ever done before.  
Reading your book has changed my life.  
I was doubting my future before I read your book; here I had planned my whole high school diploma based on wanting to be a cop, and then it was just gone, like it wasn’t even worth any of the time I gave it. 
I felt lost, like a loser in a big ocean of popular people. 
Jade’s character made me open my eyes and realize that it’s my life and I can do anything I want to do if I believe I can.  
I thank you, Kathy Bennett, for not only changing my mind but showing me a new way of life. 
I will read your book again and enjoy every page turning chase it gives me. I assure you that you book was so worth every minute I put in it.
Kathy here – Needless to say I wrote back to Miss H and we’ve corresponded a few times. I found that when I wrote back to Miss H I’d put on my  ‘police officer’ hat and tried to offer advice, encouragement and compassion.  And you know what?  I was glad to wear that hat again.
Miss H feels I’ve changed her life with my book. Little does she know how much she’s changed mine.
Until next time, 
KMA367

What’d You Do At School Today?

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It’s a horrifying disgusting story that strikes fear in every parent.  And if the original revelation wasn’t bad enough, there was more.  What am I talking about?   A news story that broke last week when a third grade elementary school teacher was arrested for felony child abuse.

What makes this case so despicable are the details.  A film developer at a Southern California CVS store called police when the developer noticed 40 pictures they were processing  allegedly depicted children who were blindfolded and sometimes gagged. The pictures allegedly showed children who had insects (cockroaches) on their faces.  If that wasn’t bad enough, the photos also allegedly revealed children being fed fluid from a plastic spoon or being given a cookie to eat.  The cookies were allegedly covered in a similar-looking fluid.

The investigation revealed the mysterious fluid in the plastic spoon and on the cookie was actually bodily fluids, (semen) allegedly from the teacher.  This teacher taught at the school for over 30 years!  At this time, the investigation has revealed 23 alleged victims ages six to ten covering the period between 2005 and 2010. 

Even for unflappable Los Angeles, this is a highly disturbing story.  But it gets worse.  The teacher accused of these crimes was arrested last Monday.  On last Friday, a second teacher was arrested at the same school for allegedly committing lewd acts with a child.  At this time, it doesn’t appear the two cases are related.  

In the second situation, two students came forward alleging their teacher had fondled them in the classroom.  I saw one news story where one of the girls had allegedly been molested by both teachers. 

So, now you have a little background…which brings me to the true point of my blog today. As parents, it is imperative that you talk to your children about inappropriate behavior by anyone.  Because, sadly, the fact today is that a molester can be anyone.  

Parents, it’s up to you to teach your children about boundaries and about what is acceptable behavior and what is not.  And don’t think just because you’ve talked to your kids once that’s enough.  There are molesters out there who ‘specialize’ in different ages of children, so your child is vulnerable at any age.

I know my mother talked to me on numerous occasions about different dangerous scenarios I might find myself in and how I’d respond.  By bringing up things that might possibly happen to me (and I’m betting her examples were from local news stories) it allowed us to discuss how I could protect myself from such situations and what to do, if despite my best efforts, I was in danger.

While it sounds dark and ominous and like a real kill-joy to time spent with your child, I didn’t view it in that light.  I felt better prepared, when at age 13, a man pulled up next to me and wanted me to get into his car.

You don’t have to spend an hour each day lecturing your kids…but you do need to open that line of communication and get your children to realize there are bad people in the world who may try to prey on them.  How many times do you ask your kids what they did at school today and they say something like: “The same old thing.  Nothin’.”  And, because you’ve got twenty other things on your mind, you’re satisfied with that answer.

Apparently, in the first situation, the teacher had allegedly told the students they were playing a game and many of the kids didn’t think this type of behavior was odd or unusual. Now, imagine this…You pick your child up from school and ask them what they did that day.  They tell you their teacher blindfolded them and gagged them and took pictures of them with bugs on their faces.  Wouldn’t this set off alarm bells in your mind?  You bet it would.  And this is what I’m trying to get you to see.  You’ve got to, not only talk to your children, but engage with them.  Get them to open up – no easy feat, I know.

As a parent, it’s easy to think, My Johnny (or Sally) is too smart to be taken in by some pervert.  Don’t fool yourself!  With the advent of the internet, many of these creeps share information about how and where to find victims.  They discuss what works and what doesn’t.  They also discuss how to get children to not alert their parents of what’s going on. These sickos live and breathe for their next opportunity to victimize a child.  Don’t let it be your child.  Talk to your kids about boundaries.  Let your children know you will believe them if they come to you if they are victimized – no matter who the suspect is.  

I know you’re busy.  I know it’s uncomfortable.  But if you aren’t willing to put in the time with your children, there are plenty of molesters who are.

Until next time…

KMA367 

Holiday Stress…How Do You Cope?

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If you’d asked me about a week ago, I would have told you I had my holiday season well under control.  I had a majority of my Christmas shopping done, my house was decorated, and I felt on top of things.  In the past week it seems I’ve been falling further and further behind.

                   

Suddenly, Christmas is less than two weeks away.  I still haven’t picked up those last presents, there is wrapping to do and holiday cards to get mailed.  I have a multitude of errands to run and, frankly, I’m exhausted just typing my ‘to do’ list in this blog.  (Please note I’m not even talking about my writing!)

I could go on and on, but you probably get where I’m coming from.  In fact, you may be feeling that way too. 

So, what I want to know is:  Do you have any favorite ‘let’s make the holiday season easier’ tips you’d be willing to share?

 

I’ll even start – although you can see from this post how well my methods are working.

My tip is to make lists.  I’m a big list maker and sometimes they even work.  I usually can get a couple of items crossed off the list, but by the end of the day I’ve added several more!

Now it’s your turn…

KMA 367